Having dated two single mums in the past, I think I am in a position to give sound advice on dating single mums. Many dudes won’t touch the notion of dating single mums with a long pole though.
The reasons are simple. In conservative societies, single mums are like an aberration. A niche reserved for girls who had broken some important social rules. For single men looking to hook up, single mums come with too many baggage; apparently.
However, with civic education and all that, single mums are beginning to be looked upon as a normal part of the community. Many of the old notions against them still exist though.
Single mums are basically just like any other hot girl a guy might wish to date. You get attracted to them for the same reasons as other girls. And when dating single mums, you are most likely to face the same problems other ‘normal’ relationships face.
But before dating any single mum, there are some things you must be aware of. I learned these things on the job. You have the benefit of my experience to learn from.
Take a look at them and tell me what you think in the comments section.
Things to know before Dating Single Mums
Her kid(s) come first
Anyone who wants to date a single mum should get that fact into their skulls. You’d never be put ahead of the interest of her kid(s).
There is no compromising on that as far as she is concerned. Even if you end up being the best lover or companion she ever had, don’t try to test her loyalty to her kid(s). You’d always be number two.
If you accept that, dating her would be fun.
You might never get invited to her home
Your dinner date with her can be as romantic as anything you could possibly think of, but you might never be invited back home for a nightcap.
It is all linked to the fact she wants to protect her kid(s) from you. She wouldn’t want to expose her kid(s) to any untoward behavior resulting from a romantic evening in her home.
So, if you want any intimate sessions with her, you’d better come up with ideas that doesn’t involve going back to her house.
Understand this though, going to your house might not work too after a romantic dinner. The reason is simple: she has to be back home to her kid(s).
Meeting the kid(s)
One thing about dating single mums is fact they seem to think and act smarter than you most of the time.
Don’t be surprised if you never get to meet her kid(s) initially. She’d only introduce you to them if she is sure you are good for her and her kid(s).
When that happens, you’d better man-up and show her she was right to trust you with her kid(s).
You can start being a sort of mentor to them if you are up to it. And by gosh, you better do it well.
The ex would always cast a shadow
That is something you can’t do anything about. Her ex (the father of the kid(s)) would always cast a shadow on your affair with her.
You just have to accept that he might pop into your lives at any time. This is not implying she might go back to him though.
It is simply that your girl and her ex might want to talk about things germane to the welfare of the kid(s). This is one time you have to take a back seat and accept the presence of another man.
It could be annoying. But the trick is to be tactful always.
She can’t go on long trips with you
If you love traveling or taking trips just for fun, you need to understand that your single mum girlfriend won’t be able to accommodate that lifestyle.
She has her kid(s) to think of. So she can’t go jetting off somewhere and leaving them alone.
If she is really into you though, she’d make arrangements with family or trusted friends to babysit for a few days.
That is a sacrifice she can make only if she really loves and trust you. You must be doing many things right in that case.
She is looking for just a partner
Most dudes have the wrong notion that single mums go around hunting for surrogate dads for their kid(s).
Like any normal girl, they also want to be loved for who they are. The smart ones would let you know up front about their status as single mums so you know what to expect.
Aside from that, they want a partner who would treat them right. After all, the kid(s) already have a father.
Don’t expect a perfect body
Men are wired to always seek for women with picture perfect bodies. The reality of dating single mums is that you rarely ever get that.
The fact is, they’ve being pregnant before. They’ve given birth before.
So expect a few stretch marks here and there and some loose flesh.
However, you could be lucky and get to meet a single mum who’d put in energy in taking care of her body.
With women like that, expect the same dedication to other aspect of their lives the same way they dedicated time and energy to their health.
She is not at your beck and call
If you want to date a single mum, and you fall into that category of people who are very needy, then it is better to dump any idea of dating single mums.
She can’t always come running to you when you call or need her. Remember, she has other important stuff to deal with apart from you.
If in doubt, talk to your mum. She’d tell you raising kid(s) takes more time than a 9 – 5 job.
You must like kid(s)
That goes without saying right? So if you don’t like kids and you met this wonderful girl who incidentally is a single mum, dating her is not going to work.
The kid is the most important person in her life. Any sign from you that you can’t relate with them is a sure way out of her life.
These tips are the general stuff you need to know before dating single mums. If you are cool with them or understand these facts, you are in for a jolly good ride.
And all things being equal, you might find yourself walking down the aisle with one.
Now is that time you guys tell us what you think about this. We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section. And please do share this on Facebook or Twitter if you liked what you read.