One thing I know about myself, that is if I don’t know anything else, is that I am not scared of smart women. I feel there are not enough of them in the world.
Once upon a time, I had already resigned myself to the idea I would never meet a smart intelligent woman. I didn’t know how wrong I was. I guess because I had the mindset that smart, beautiful intelligent girls are a myth, I fell head over heels in love with Kay the first day I met her.
She was like a unicorn. Something you hear about but never see. Something everybody knows it’s beautiful but can’t say for sure how they know that for a fact since they never met one.
That was Kay. Smart, intelligent beautiful. What attracted me at first weren’t the brains on her head though. She had that understated beauty that tends to grow on you the more you look.
The sort of beauty only men with discerning eyes can see.
I got to understand from Kay that men tend to run away from her after a couple of dates. She thought it was because she wasn’t pretty. I knew it was because these men were scared of smart women like her.
Her intelligence was intimidating to be honest. She seemed to know everything. But how can I resist a girl who loved Arsenal, loved reading Russian Classics and was as funny as anything?
I mean, how can I not fall in love with someone whose idea of winding down is to dim the lights and listen to jazz music? Or who thought an awesome gift for me was a huge book about the evolution of religious cultures around the world.
I had no chance. I was slurping like a hungry dog the moment I had my first date with her.
Why men are scared of smart women can be narrowed to fear of losing the plot. The plot being who ought to be the man in the relationship. It is much more than just about gender.
So why am I not scared of smart women? I honestly can’t give a sure answer to that. But I can give a few reasons why some men are positively scared of smart women.
Fear of losing control
Most men think smart women would be hard to control. I belief it is a cultural myth that needs to be reworked.
The overriding feeling in men is that a smart woman, given enough time, would take over headship of the house or family.
I don’t believe that is true though. In a typical traditional society, smart women know intuitively that men would always be the head. They know, because they are intelligent; that it is futile and not smart to challenge that fact.
Smart women have more important things to do or think about than to embark on a losing battle.
Smart women are intimidating
It is bad enough that we men find beautiful women intimidating. Adding smarts to the mixture in that complex personality called women equals intimidating and scary for men.
It all boils that to this: men don’t like the idea an intelligent smart woman might show them up for the buffoons they are.
Arrogant and Stuck up
Arrogance is one of the most common reason men are scared of smart women. To be sure, the women don’t have to be arrogant. It is just the perception from the man’s point of view.
We men like our women to seem helpless and lost so we can feel useful to them. A woman who doesn’t tick those boxes is conveniently termed arrogant and stuck up.
And we know men never ever want to spend the rest of their lives or even a few months of it with a girl who is perceived as arrogant. It makes us miserable.
Men find it difficult to understand the moods of an intelligent lady. Been smart means, sometimes, they need to be left alone to figure things out. And by God, smart women really have many questions about life to think about.
Men can’t live with that. They prefer a woman whose only mood swings are as a result of not giving her enough money to go shopping and such silly things. The sort of things we can easily understand and resolve.
Generally, people hate it when they are treated with condescension. As if they are kids whose silliness had to be indulged to make them happy.
Smart women can seem that way to men and their egos. When she is trying to gently explain to the man why he is wrong, it would go down the wrong way with the man.
Been talked to like that by a woman reminds us too much of how our mums treated us when we were kids. We were scared of our mums; and to our kiddie minds, mums were as smart as whips.
We project the same feelings on women we are scared of. Hence, it is natural for many men to be scared of smart women.
Guys, men, brothers, seriously, put your ego issues to one side. Experience what it means to hang out with a person who is your equal in intellect. It is awesome I promise you.
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