It would be remiss or even irresponsible to talk about taking a relationship break without saying a thing or two about the the things you must do before taking that relationship break.
The previous piece about relationship break was just like building a house from the middle. That is plain wrong. I was made aware of that fact by a friend in a private chat.
The gist of the discussion was that I should have informed you guys about the checklist you must address before taking that relationship break.
Basically, doing the logical thing of building a house from the foundation before anything else. Or if you want to be pedantic about it, getting the design and budget in place before embarking on your building project is the first thing to do, right?
This piece about the things to do before taking that relationship break is simply me acknowledging that I put the cart before the horse. And I am here to correct that mistake. Like they say, it is better late than never.
Before taking that relationship break…
There are some things in life that could be over-flogged to a point the main issue becomes obscured in too much analysis. Sometimes, it is just best to go out and do something when the idea pops into you.
Because thinking about it might lead to inaction. I have seen that scenario played out many times.
On the other side of the coin is the idea that you must plan well to succeed at anything. That is another way of saying look before you leap or don’t be too hasty in action. Because the consequences can be disastrous.
For something as important as relationships, this same logic applies. Sometimes, thinking too much can lead to inertia or inaction. Or just going on instincts and hoping for the best can lead to huge mistakes.
A balancing act is needed in most cases. That is why before taking that relationship break, you just don’t pack your stuff and go. There are things you must do first with your partner.
Let’s just call these things the rules of engagement for the period you are going to be apart from each other.
Discuss with your partner
This has to be emphasized as the first thing at the top of your checklist before taking that relationship break.
Everything done before taking time away from each other is all about communicating your feelings to each other. At this point, talking is not really about solving the issues that lead to this situation.
Point is, the relationship has reached an important bridge that must be crossed.
So the discussion now is what each partner should expect from the other on the other side of the bridge.
The discussion must be held in as civil a manner as possible. It won’t be nice to take a break with fresh bitterness lingering from your last discussion with your partner, would it?
How long the break would last
If you read my last piece, my relationship break with an ex was for almost a year. That was not planned. I bet it would have being shorter if we had discussed it before taking a relationship break.
So it is best to talk with your partner and agree on a timescale of how long you guys should be apart.
However, it is not written in stone that you must stick to that timetable. It could be shorter in practice; or it could be longer. It all depends on what reality throws at you while being apart
To date or not to date
This is very important to thrash out before taking that relationship break I tell you.
No matter what brought you two to this point, both of you must agree if you can date other people during the break.
One partner might find it resentful during the break that the other partner is dating someone else. It could make a comeback really hard.
On the other hand, the whole point of taking a break from the relationship is because one or both of you wanted to know how or what it feels to be with other people.
Though this option is fraud with many dangers, it must be borne in mind that some people can only discover themselves when they try out new things.
So both of you must agree if it is acceptable to openly date other people during this period. It would save you guys a lot of headaches later.
However, when you pick this option, one must be discreet about the sort of people to date. For instance, it is unacceptable to date your partner’s friend.
The problem geography
This is another big issue that must be resolved before taking that relationship break: the physical distance between you two.
It would help greatly if one of you can be able to relocate to another town or a different part of the town.
You must agree it would be really be awkward if you keep bumping into you partner around town. You might as well just get back together.
If moving out of town is impossible, then you must both follow some of the unwritten rules of how to get over an ex.
Frequency of communication
The fact you are breaking apart temporarily doesn’t mean you are now enemies. Both of you have connections that can’t just disappear overnight.
There would be occasion when either of you would wish to speak with the other. That is unavoidable.
The problem is one partner might abuse that privilege for so many reasons. So you both must agree on the frequency of phone calls. Preferably, it should he restricted to important issues and situations.
Or once a month just to say hello for old times sake. And of course, chitchats should be limited to just a few minutes for these non-essential calls.
So that is your ultimate groundwork of things you must do before going on that relationship break. Naturally, depending on your situation, other issues that need to be thrashed out must come up. Don’t hesitate to bring them out. That is the essence of the whole sit down.
As usual, feel free to add anything you think was overlooked or simply tell us about your experience about this or any issue in the comments section.
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Cheers.
