Pinpointing what guys should know before they hit 30 can be a very daunting task. There is simply no one-size-fits-all list to give out to each young man that crosses your path.
Young men are what we are talking about here. That age before 30. Anytime I get a query about love, dating and relationship from them, I’d like to know their age first. Then picture myself at that age and imagine the things I did or did not do.
Since it wasn’t so long ago, a total recall is not that difficult. What did I know about dating and love when I was their age? In retrospect, what I knew didn’t mean much in the scheme of things. Basically, I was just winging it, hoping things worked out right.
Most did not work out right I must confess.
My experiences then don’t exactly mirror those of other people. Based on that, I have to say what guys should know before they reach 30 can be broken down into these general guidelines
Guys Should know Where to Meet Good Girls
I remember the easiest place to meet a girl who is ready and willing to share your bed was the local club.
Anytime we were willing to score with the girls, we just headed to the pub. The girls were not necessarily call girls; most of them go there, mostly in groups, to have a good time. However, the unsaid rule is that if you want to get serious, that sort of place is not the place to hook up.
The few friends I remember who dated these girls came out battered. Emotionally I mean. Somehow, it is easier to spend a night with a nun than to have a rewarding relationship with girls who frequent clubs a lot.
Guys Should know it’s not about their Bank Balance
Most guys at that age tend to pick the wrong role models. I did too. It was all about the film stars and athletes with the long lines of adoring beautiful girls just waiting to have a go at them.
So the feeling got embedded that we needed money to get the best of everything including love.
It’s really hard to impress it on a young man under 30 it is not about the wallet.
Young men should know that it is a fine time to develop other aspects of their personality as well, not just the drive to make money. Knowing how to treat others nicely; getting a good education; reading all sorts of books and learning which battles to avoid would be of immense help to a man when he starts the real business of a serious relationship and spending money.
Guys should know how to Communicate
Communication is not just about talking about yourself or knowing the right things to say to a girl on your first date. Sure they are vital. But it is also important to know how to listen to your girl.
Don’t listen to her out of a sense of duty or social etiquette, really hear what she says. Guys must learn that sometimes, keeping quiet after she told you something is more effective than rushing in with your own gist just to show her how smart you are.
Effective communication can sometimes be all about been quiet. Just learn to spot and pick your moments
Know how to Spot a Toxic Relationship
Seriously, ignorance of this is what guys should not take into their 30s.
Guys shouldn’t waste time looking for the perfect relationship before 30. Instead dedicate time to knowing that different girls bring different things to the table in a relationship.
If a girl makes you feel good about yourself. Chances are that is a healthy affair. On the other hand, you get the abusive girls, who seize on any chance to put you down. That is toxic.
Learn to spot relationships like that or you would have a serious negative self-esteem problem to deal with later in life.
There is no Perfect Girl
If you grew up on so many fairy tales, it’s so easy to cast yourself in the mold of a prince charming for some helpless dame just waiting for you to sweep her off her feet.
Girls like that don’t exist for anybody. You create your own perfect girl from so many imperfect ingredients. Be assured the girls too are facing the same issue. They would make a job of trying to polish you into their ideal partner. Learn not to make that job difficult for them.
A guy should know what he really wants
I guess the twenties are the times you feel you should be allowed to be wild, sow your oats and all that. But it is also the best period to take time out to reflect on who you really are and what you want in life.
Girls appreciate men who know what they want from life by the time they get to 30. No serious girl wants to date would want a man who is still confused about his goals in life in his thirties.
A guy should know how to move on
This can be difficult for most people especially young guys. But what can I say, life is not easy. The road ahead is full of uncertainties.
That is why you shouldn’t waste time thinking about how you’ll one day come back and sweep your childhood crush off her feet once you make it in life. Life doesn’t work that way.
Know how to let go of such childish tendencies. Never for one moment think your first love is your greatest. First loves or relationships are hardly the last. Learn to move on if it doesn’t work out.
Trust me, you’ll have enough heartbreaks in your thirties.
Please, use the comments section if you think I missed something. Or speak directly to our wonderful community on Facebook and Twitter. Cheers.