I really got an earful from a friend recently about the telltale signs of a traumatic relationship, that is, emotional wounds and emotional scars. She felt men, especially guys like me, knew nothing about being sensitive.
According to her, we were like the hardware of a computer while women were the softwares that are very sensitive to any little problem in the system.
I felt she took the analogy a bit too far. My spirited defense on behalf of men didn’t make her budge from her position. So I challenged her to put her mouth where her heart was so I can share her thoughts with my readers.
I got this piece a few weeks ago from her. I guess I was waiting for the emotions of that hot exchange to morph into emotional scars before I could trust myself to dispassionately present it to you guys.
So, here are her thoughts, largely unedited to preserve the feminine tenor
At some point in time, you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away.
But something keeps telling you that you still feel something for that person not knowing that you are hurting yourself; and then you realize the fact that what is truly yours will eventually be yours and what is not, no matter how hard you try will never be.
Just as we receive physical injuries, which consequently leads to scars after healing, emotional injuries are much more the same.
Many people might not know that they have been hurt; as a result of that, they have been living with emotional pains over the years and so are finding it difficult of letting go or functioning optimally as a woman.
The brave ones have quitted or ended their relationship as a result of the pains they’ve been through; all those times that they have tried to endure painful moments but still love until when they could no longer take it.
I remember a friend of mine who is a good example of what I am trying to tell your insensitive soul. She had been into a relationship for some time and after a while had broke up due to so many reasons.She felt she could no longer continue.
But the trauma she went through made her world to almost crumble. As time went on, she became destabilized because she couldn’t sleep, eat, bath, or even go out of her room due to the level of emotional pain. She was really hurt to her core.
She was devastated and cut completely from this world. I told her that, at some point in time people have passed through situations like that but, it didn’t mean that life will not go on or she will not be able to love again.
It was time for her to try and untangle herself from the trauma of what happened. To let go and move on. And let the emotional scars of the experience be her guide as she courageously face, hopefully, an exciting future.
To cut the whole story short. she learned to accept it and never again to let her past to toy with her present state because that experience almost made her question the point of being alive.
Often times, these emotional scars cause more harm than good. Instead of serving as guides, they cuts us from good people and from our real selves. Many, if not most carry emotional scars or traumas that can adversely affect our health and quality of life.
Emotional pains can be so severe that it interferes with your ability to enjoy life and in extreme cases, may even make you question whether your life is worth living.
Tips For living with Emotional Scars And Wounds
1.Letting go of rejection, because the feeling of rejection toys with your innate need to belong; and it is so distressing that it interferes with your ability to think, recall memories and even make decisions. The sooner you let go of the painful rejections, the better off your mental health will be.
2.Avoid ruminating over past hurts because the memories you replay in your mind only become increasingly distressing and cause more anger without providing any new insights. In other words, reflecting on a painful event should help you to reach an understanding or closure about it. Ruminating only makes you think deep and increases your stress level.
In addition to some of these tips, it is important that you actively pay attention to the moment you’re in right now rather than letting your mind wander with too much despairing thoughts.
Forgiveness must also play a part if you have to successfully move on. You must learn to forgive the past and let negative thoughts pass through the mind without getting caught up in all that painful emotional dance
There it is guys, right from a woman’s mouth. I thought this piece was going to take us guys to the cleaners for being generally uncouth.
I really like the concept of emotional scars. I have many scars on my body. Each has a story of how it got there which I vividly remember. So guys, tell me what you think in the comments section.