Getting to understand something like why men cheat can be an exercise in futility. In this digital age, where changes happen almost as fast as a fist disappearing back to a normal hand, men hardly stop to analyze things like, ‘Why men cheat.’
The overriding feeling among men who cheat is, ‘Catch me if you can. Then I’ll deal with the consequences after that.’
I recall one time, Sophie, a friend on Facebook, asked the question about why men cheat? Just the three words as her status update. I was the first to comment and I hurriedly typed something like, ‘Men don’t even understand why they cheat. We just do it.’
Gosh, I got an almighty bashing from her that left me stunned. I understood then the question wasn’t that innocuous because she was curious about things like, why the sun never rises in the West? Or why she wasn’t born a man?
She posted that update because she was looking for comfort online. She wanted her Facebook friends to be her agony aunts from the problem she was facing in her own relationship. I didn’t know that and my insensitive answer to a deeply personal issue only made her mad.
Just like quite a few of my lady friends objected to last Friday’s piece on strategies to be damn good cheats. They felt I was needling men to cheat. And worse still, I was accused of a hedonistic agenda. They were not impressed that in the piece I made it clear cheating on your partner was a stupid and dumb thing to do.
So, this is for Sophie and all the girls out there who are always left scratching there heads with the perplexing things men do in the pursuit of sex. Hope you’ll scratch your pretty heads less or less furiously after reading this.
Reasons Why Men Cheat
1.Variety
This is going to sound blasphemous, using the Good Book to try and justify something that destroys the very foundation of good relationships.
So here is the famous quote, ‘Man shall not leave on bread alone… ”
That is a powerful statement that applies to almost every facet of life. A man can love his partner more than anything else in the world. But, just the fact that variety is the spice of life can pushed a man to into the arms another woman.
Men caught in the act would try to explain it was purely a physical thing. A weird kind of curiosity that needed to be satisfied. Yeah, I know that sounds like a lame excuse for why men cheat. But stupid acts are most times carried out for the lamest reasons.
2.Men are Weak
Some women can appreciate how this works. Men lack the will power to just say no to a beautiful woman especially if she is coming on to the man strongly.
No matter the best intentions of men, there is a girl out there for every man that would flip his cheating switch. And when that happens, nothing can stop the man from cheating. Well, almost nothing.
Sometimes the switch-flipper could be something as simple as the way her hair is styled or the way she she sits alone by herself in the crowded room. When that happens, we certainly lack the will power to say no to that insistent goading from deep within our loins.
3.Control
Sometimes, it is all about power play. When men feel they’d lost the power balance at home to the woman, they seek to reassert their ‘maleness’ by cheating. Cheating provides them a new victim to dominate and control.
This situation occurs when the man is low in self-belief occasioned by something like the loss of a job. The act of cheating is simply to convince himself he has not lost it yet as a man.
4.Boost libido
This dovetails into the variety thing. But the loss of libido works a bit differently. I know men who just can’t get it up with their partners again.
In the beginning you couldn’t get enough of her. But it’s inevitable that the initial testosterone rush plateaus and begins to decline for the man. It is normal in every relationship.
However, the man might decide he needs that rush again. He missed the excitement of that wild intimacy and wants to feel it again. Unfortunately, he can’t get that again with his partner. It has to be a different girl.
5.They Got Away With it Before
Again, a bible analogy. They ate the forbidden fruit and got away with it. Not every man would cheat on more than one occasion. The remorse won’t allow them. Some men on the other hand, would do it again just because they got away with it once.
Now, it is a romantic and very exciting dangerous game that they see as a test of how smart they are.
6.Intimacy
This works both ways. Some men cheat because they have lost that intimate feeling with their partner. So they go out to look for it in another woman.
On the other hand, some men do it because they want to avoid intimacy with their partners. Intimacy scares them for one reason or the other. So cheating constantly is like a buffer against real intimacy.
Like I said earlier, most of the reasons why men cheat are lame. But that is just the way it is. Guys, I need you to chip in and help me out with the furious ladies out there. You can do that on Twitter or Facebook. You thoughts are also welcome in the comments section below.
Cheers.
