In the old classic movie The Godfather, love at first sight was what the producers were referring to when Michael Corleone got totally smitten by a country girl while in exile in Italy.
Although the movie used the more culturally appropriate ‘thunderbolt‘ to describe what happened to Michael when he first set eyes on his doomed first wife, you knew it was nothing more than what happens to young men all over the world.
And in case you are wondering, The Godfather movie is the gold standard of all mafia movies. It is the movie in which all other movies in this genre are rated against.
So if you haven’t watched the movie, make it part of your holiday plans this Christmas. I am sure you can rustle up the time to watch it.
In the movie though, love at first sight was made to look like something that would happen to the best of us sooner or later. But is that the truth?
Love at first sight and fairy tales
I guess making Michael Corleone fall hopelessly in love with a lady in the movie was just to make the point that though he was a stone cold murderer, he had a normal heart like the rest of us law abiding citizens.
The only place I have ever seen this kind of love happen consistently are in fairy tales. The classic fairy tales I guess are written that way to protect kids from the reality of real life and love.
I used to love and die for those stories when I was a kid. Gosh, back when I was a kid, I really believed that stuff. And that it would someday happen to me.
In my innocent mind, I would one day meet a breathtakingly beautiful girl who is just waiting for me to fall in love with her the moment I set my eyes on her.
I guess you guessed that never happened. All I got was many clumsy and stuttering attempts to tell one cute girl or the other how much I’d love her to accept me as her friend.
Looking back now, all I can say is, we kids had no swag at all. I feel really embarrassed for that younger version of me. Thank God the girls did not have sense enough to laugh in our faces. Seriously, we were all pathetic.
How love at first sight works
Have you ever asked yourself how come love at first sight is always directed at a girl who is very very beautiful? I mean, you never hear stories of a guy saying he immediately fell in love with an ugly girl the moment he set eyes on her.
Or have you? I would love to hear about it.
This is how the love at first sight thing works:
1. You see a very beautiful girl who struck a magic cord in you and all you want to do is make her yours exclusively. Basically, if you are a vampire, she is your silver bullet or wooden stake.
2. If you can summon the guts to approach and tell her how you feel, you might get lucky that she gives you a chance to prove yourself.
3. While trying to prove yourself worthy of her attention, you might discover awesome things about her that complements her beauty.
Things that make you love her more.
4. If everything goes according to plan, she gets to like you enough to be your girlfriend. Which means you must have done your job of wooing her very well.
Then you guys move on to the next stage of building a real relationship. The love at first sight thing had served the purpose of bringing you guys together.
The real job is staying together for a meaningful length of time.
Truth is, what qualifies for love at first sight is just a useful euphemism for infatuation.
In the course of my short life, girls who should know better had told me that several times (the infatuation thing) when I come drooling about how much I can’t live without them.
It was infatuation. Well you never get to know that especially if you are too young or too daft or both. Experience would wean you out of that notion of love at first sight.
Love at first sight really exist
If you want to see it in real action, watch the way a dude behaves the first time he sets eyes on his perfect baby that was given birth to just a few moments ago.
It doesn’t matter that new babies look rather blotchy and crinkly like tiny old men, parents fall completely in love with them. No strings attached. And that love remains forever.
And that is my point really. Love at first sight only exist in a situation where love is an end in itself. You don’t expect to get anything in return. You are just happy loving the person.
Can you honestly say that is the way you feel about a girl? We feel strongly about some ladies and act on our feelings because we expect something in return. Sooner or later.
And the thing about love at first sight/infatuation is that it doesn’t survive ‘reality‘ test most of the time. It fizzles out the first time we notice a consistent character flaw in our beloved.
I know some would have their hackles up ready for a fight showing me I am so wrong. Well, let’s hear your thoughts in the comments section below. Or you can do that on our Facebook or Twitter pages and while you are at it, do share this with your friends.