Question: What do people want from a relationship? What do you expect from your partner? Ultimately, everything boils down to happiness. One of the main reasons some people are not happy is because they have an emotionally unavailable partner.
Defining who an emotionally unavailable partner is can be tricky. It is easy to confuse it for something else. For instance, a cruel partner could be mistaken for being unavailable emotionally.
The point is, to the outside world everything could be going well in your relationship. But you know in your hearts of hearts, something is missing.
There is the absence of what some call the crucial X-factor that should make you happy. But you can’t put your finger on the exact problem.
So how can you tell you are dating an emotionally unavailable person? Read on to discover the signs to look out for.
1. They compliment you easily
If your partner works hard at trying to charm you at any given time, that should be a red flag for you.
People with little or no emotional involvement are too quick to compliment others. Fact is, they don’t mean it. They would even complement a dirty pig if they feel there is an advantage in doing that.
Watch how your partner behaves with others. Do they lay on the charms the way they do with you? If yes, then you are nothing special to them. Their emotions are tucked somewhere inaccessible to you.
2. They judge everybody by very high standards
It is common with an emotionally unavailable partner not to give an inch of what they expect from you. Some people might call them perfectionists. They want the best and demand it.
Of course, demanding the best is a good thing all the time. But an obsession with perfection points to a deep character flaw.
At the very least, perfectionists lack empathy. They don’t appreciate that people are generally flawed and are prone to mistakes.
If your partner is like that, get them to change. You would never live a happy life with people like that.
3. They are good at brushing you off
If your partner can easily reel out tons of excuses to avoid doing something for you, they are not plugged into you emotionally.
Normally, a partner who really cares for you would always look for a way to make something happen. They won’t mind if it inconveniences them. They would try to be there for you.
But the emotionally unavailable partner doesn’t care about that. They are only a free to do something for you if it benefits them or it is convenient for them.
Don’t be surprised if they constantly changed their minds after agreeing to do something for you. And the apologies would be perfunctory.
Basically, they don’t care about how disappointed you are. They expect you to deal with that feeling alone and would not offer to make it up to you.
4. They don’t owe you an explanation
This is so classic. They come across as people who don’t care about the consequences of their actions.
For instance, they might decide to ghost on you for a long time. When you finally hook up again, you’ll be lucky to get a convincing reason why they disappeared.
They would even find it irritating if you insist on getting a good explanation for something untoward they did. Ultimately, they might lie just to get you to shut up.
5. Everything is about them
How many times have you tried discussing a problem with your partner only to have them turn it into a discussion about their own problems?
Several times? Then you sure are living with an emotionally unavailable partner.
People like them expect your life to revolve around them. Nothing you do impresses them. They are always resentful when a milestone in your life is not directly linked to them.
If they can find a way to get the bragging rights for your achievements, they would do it before you can blink twice.
6. You can read or predict them
At every turn, an emotionally unavailable partner would give you mixed messages. Just when you think you have a handle on them, they do something totally out of character.
While other people are talking about how much they know their partners, you would be wondering if you live with a stranger. Your life is a constant battle to understand what your partner is up to at any time.
7. An emotionally unavailable partner doesn’t care about you
This can be expressed in so many ways. For instance, if you are dating an emotionally unavailable person, they never care to know what is up with you.
You would have to prompt them to ask you questions about yourself. And if they do, the answers you give are not interesting to them. Your life outside of them is really none of their business.
In that respect, they are likely not interested in meeting your family, or knowing your friends. They don’t even want to know the things that make you tick.
So if your partner ticks all the above traits, don’t find it surprising you are one of the unhappiest persons in the world. The best advice is to try and get them to change, or look for happiness elsewhere and learn to adapt or quit the relationship asap.
After all, what we desire most in life is happiness from the people closest to us.
If you have been with a partner like this, tell us about the experience and how you coped with it in the comment section below.