Ghosting on a relationship is something people do all the time without actually thinking of it that way. What happens essentially is this: you call time on your affair without a word to your partner.
You just disappear quietly. No lovers fight to instigate it. No, thank God, nasty accident that might have kept you incommunicado in a strange hospital in a far off place. You just walk away without saying a word. That is ghosting on a relationship.
I have never met anybody who liked that being done to them. The last time a girl tried it on me, I stormed her house to demand answers. She didn’t give me any good reason why she refused to pick her calls or even send a message.
Later that night while I was at home thinking my bold action just averted a budding crisis, I got a short text from her breaking up with me.
Apparently, her preferred method of breaking up with me was the, ‘ghosting on a relationship’ strategy. But I forced her to come out of her ghost mode when I went to her house.
So I got the text. Which is a bit better than ghosting. Because let’s face it, texting to break up is a shitty way to do it too. But, sometimes, we got to do what we got to do.
I have thought about why people do it a lot these days. Maybe because I have unsuccessfully tried to do it in my current relationship. One thing I like about ghosting on a relationship is this: you can always retract and talk your way out of a potentially bad situation. Especially if you are a smooth talker.
These are the reasons I came up with on why people opt for ghosting on a relationship as a means of breaking up.
Ghosting on a Relationship is the Coward’s Way
Seriously, it is cowardly to treat somebody you once loved dearly that way. I can understand if you can’t bear the look on their faces when you break the news. But hey, we are all adults, the thing about being adults is that we are able (most of the time) to handle what life and lovers throw at us.
So just man up, and do your soon-to-be-ex-lover the honors of breaking up properly.
Afraid of Changing Your Mind
I can understand that too. Some people can be so persuasive when what you really want is a permanent break from them; so ghosting becomes the preferred option.
However, no matter how you intend to break up, your partner is going to feel bad anyway. So you might just as well do it the least hurtful way by telling them of your intentions and if you feel up to it, explaining your reasons why.
Being strong and standing by your convictions is one of the things being an adult is all about. Therefore, you shouldn’t be afraid your partner would talk you out of what you’d already decided.
In a Toxic Relationship
This is one situation where ghosting on a relationship might be the preferred option to break up.
People in abusive relationships can relate with this a lot. For some women, the best option is to switch phone numbers, change the locks on the door or just move out of town just to escape the man making their life a living hell.
The same applies to a man too on discovering the girl he once thought was an angel is everything but.
The Relationship would Never be Serious
Ghosting on a relationship can be good in a situation where the passion is practically dead. You guys have stopped seeing each other with decreasing frequency. And you noticed the relationship the way it is can never be more serious.
Then radio silence, ghosting, quietly fading away (or any other term you like to call it) would be a nice way to end things for both parties.
And hey, you never know, you guys might decide to pick things again someday. You can then use the, ‘Hello stranger…..’ line to start up from where you left off.
Affairs, due to their intensity, are never simple and breakups, no matter how you dress them up, are complicated and at least one person is always left with an empty feeling.
Please do drop your comments or your take on ghosting on a relationship. Have you done it before? Has it been done to you? Let’s have a chat on our Facebook page or Twitter. The comments section below would do just nicely too. Cheers.