In this digital age where everything is going online, hooking up with a potential lover online is simple. The online dating scene has grown exponentially recently. Unfortunately, too often, online hookups fail miserably in the real world.
It could be argued that even hookups in real-life fail just as much. That is true. But it is clear that apart from the fact online hookups fail too often, their duration is also very short.
Because of the failure rate of online dates and how long they last, they could be called the classic short-term relationship. This is another way of saying online dates could be the best way to have flings.
The question begging for an answer is why many online hookups fail so often and so fast? Like in everything in life, the reasons could be as varied as the individuals involved.
Generally, though, these are some of the reasons online hookups fail easily in the real world.
1. Lies become exposed in the real world
It is a fact of online dating that people lie a lot to improve their chances of getting a suitable date.
The lies can include anything from
- How rich the man is
- How beautiful or handsome the person is
- How awesome the job they do is
- Their social influence and importance in society
Telling these fibs online is understandable. Generally, people go online to look for people with certain traits. And these are the traits that are desirable by most people in the real world.
So come offline-meet-up time, the disappointment on discovering the real person can very profound. Some people even call it fraud and seek legal redress.
2. The expectations are too high
Most people go online to look for a relationship because of a false sense of being able to get something different.
They forget that the people they meet online are real people with real-world problems and shortcomings.
Most times, online conversations are only about the things that make the couples tick. Because of that, it is easy to get lulled into believing that one has found the perfect love. Expectation becomes sky high.
By the time they get to meet offline and date for a while, they discover nothing has changed. The same faults one hoped to avoid by looking for offline love are still present.
The disappointment leads to frustration and of course termination of the affair. This high expectation never gave the affair a chance in the real world.
3. Nothing has changed
Generally, people that jump onto the online dating bandwagon are those who have been burned in previous relationships.
They arrive seeking something different. They believe that because online hookups start anonymously, things would be different.
Well for a time, as long as they remain online, things can be gloriously perfect. But sooner or later, there is a need to meet up physically. To take things to the next level so to speak.
That is where reality hits. They would discover nothing has changed.
- They still have to go on dates.
- They still have to deal with relationship problems
- They still need to deal with the peculiarities of another human being looking for love and happiness.
- They have to meet the friends and families of their new partner
In other words, online hookup is simply just a place to meet up. It is simply just a substitute for the dozens of other places one could have met a potential partner.
The hard work of building a real relationship would still be there. For many, discovering this is too much to deal with. So they simply call it quits and fade into the background never to be heard from again.
4. They are overrated
This is one of the biggest reasons most online hookups fail.
There are simply no exotic people online. Most of the websites pitching the benefits of online dating do so for one reason: to make money out of you.
Even if they don’t take your money, they are getting money from the traffic and ads. Besides they could sell your details to marketers who would target you with products they feel you need.
So for these websites, it is in their own interest to hype the benefits of online dating as much as possible. The more the hype, the better. But it is all hype.
Simply put, what you see is not what you get by a long shot.
5. Different agenda
Many online hookups are based on different motivations. For instance, some people might come online to:
- Look for a temporary partner to get them over the trauma of breakup
- Just to have flings
- Satisfy their curiosity
- To scam other people
Of course, no one comes out to say that.
At the same time, there are some who come online to look for a real relationship. But getting a like-minded partner is even harder than finding a needle in a haystack.
Ultimately, because the partners wanted something different, the relationship hardly ever survives in the real world.
Have you tried online dating before? Were you disappointed with the outcome? Tell us what you think about why online hookups fail from your own experience.