These days, lots of people, especially women, say stuff like, ‘Real men cry.’ It is a lie; real, authentic, testosterone-powered men don’t cry.
For us men, many of our most cherished, common and universal values are slowly but surely being eroded by too much civilization. Yeah, change is good. But it is bad if it effects something very fundamental like the essence of what makes men men.
One of these essence is that men should distance themselves from anything that makes them look weak. We are supposed to be the warriors of the community; the hunters; the bread winners.
Where in all that can we honestly fit in a blubbering, sniffing mess of man who just couldn’t hold it in?
Some people might argue about how some cultures allow men to cry if they feel like. I don’t know about that.
All I know is, in all the classic literature about heroes, you never come across a scenario where real men cry. And when you do, it becomes a huge topic of conversation. Why is that?
Because real men don’t cry.
Okay, let’s just go through some of the reasons men don’t cry or shouldn’t cry.
Men don’t cry because they’d lose respect
I recalled one time I was with friends and somebody narrated how one of our mutual friend disgraced himself at a wake.
The gist was that the dude came into the house and started crying like a woman, complete with mucus dripping down his nose. Gosh!
The general consensus was he humiliated his friends who were keeping it together while he lost it with that show of shame.
We never looked at the guy the same since that day. He knew he messed up.
That is the thing about people who think it is right for men to cry. They just don know that our build-in ego always demands respect. One way of losing that respect is to cry publicly in front of others.
Men crying publicly is a shameful spectacle to be honest.
Crying makes you look weak
Looking weak is not what is expected from a man. Any man at all.
Don’t listen to women and some traitorous men who’d tell you crying shows you are a sensitive person. I hear that a lot these days about how crying is therapeutic and brings you closer to your partner.
I wished life were that easy; then as men, all we’d had to do to solve our relationship problems is to let our tear ducts open and presto! All would be well with the world.
In practice though, just try that nonsense in front of your lady, what you would get is a look of disgust from her and a, ‘Please get hold of yourself and stop crying like a woman.‘
If she doesn’t say that, at the back of her mind would be this depressing thought she had gotten herself involved with a weak man.
You should be the shoulders to lean on
I suppose you heard the various versions of the classic, ‘Lean on me.’ For real men, our job is to provide a non-crying shoulder for our ladies to lean on or cry on depending on their mood.
It is another way of saying real men don’t cry because they have to be strong for their women: the so-called weaker sex.
Though calling women weaker sex is debatable these days. But anyway, generally, men are supposed to be stronger both physically and emotionally. In the same sense that we always know how to keep our emotions under control.
Tears and crying are for women
There is nothing much to be said about this fact. One of life’s most important lessons is that women use tears for many things; not just limited to when they are very sad or depressed or they just lost a loved one.
While we men work with logic as we get on in life, one of the weapons in a lady’s arsenal is her ability to use tears to get her way.
I can’t remember the number of times I had to do very silly things or reverse crucial decisions because my lady cried like the sky would come down on us if I don’t do things her way.
As men, we get used to it. It is what women do. And in that respect, it is what real men should never do.
Okay, I have to give an allowance for extraordinary situations where we men have to cry.
Like what happened the last time I cried. I just lost my younger sister you see. I was able to avoid crying for several days, even alone at night.
But somehow, the tears came rushing down when I heard the sounds of the sirens bringing her coffin for a lying in state before final interments.
However, I did not open my mouth and howled like the women were doing . But it was still mortifying for me. I am glad the only person with me at that time was a perpetual drunk who l am sure did not notice the tears in his drunken state.
That was almost a decade ago. Since then, the idea of crying over anything is a ‘no-no.’ My advice to my guys: if you have to cry, find a very private place and let rip.
Lock yourself in your room preferably until you are done.
We are men for God’s sake. And men don’t cry.
I know some would disagree with my point of view. I guess you’d tell me about the psychological and health benefits of crying. Well, tell me all about it in the comments section below. I’d love to hear you make me change my mind. No tears though.
And please, do remember to like our Facebook and Twitter handles if you haven’t done so.