Some nights, I lie on my back starring at the ceiling waiting for sleep; just thinking of stuff like the sort of things women can do to make my relationship a little easier. Or happier. I guess it’s a sad commentary on my life that that I want to pin my happiness on things women can do or cannot do. Well, since I am a well-known liberal, why not?
Maybe before I die, I need to see women get fully and completely liberated. Actually do the things they ought to be doing. Who remembers all the noise about that huge women conference in Beijing in 1995?
I can never forget that meeting because my favorite aunt gave me a lot of heat back then about how women would start ruling the world soon. My young impressionable mind tried to understand what she meant. I thought women already ruled.
I mean, look at my mum, she ruled the house totally. The same thing with my friends’ mums back then. To our young impressionable minds, our mothers were rulers of the world.
Well, I grew up, became a bit wiser and understood what my aunt was saying. But some two decades on, women have not taken over. Maybe that is why the world is still in a mess.
Who cares about the world though? I care about me and my personal life and the things women can do to make my life easier. Seriously, women should stop bitching about how we men are making a mess of things and just take over. We men need to sit back and relax.
Random list of things women can do
Propose to a man: I find it amazing that in an age where women are heads of global institutions and Governments (see Britain and Germany, with America soon to follow), women still wait on the man to propose to them.
Sometimes, we men are so engrossed with doing so many important things we tend to forget little things like actually telling a woman we want to marry them. That is one of the causes of late marriage you know.
So since getting married is important to women, they should just propose.
Marry a man: well, not as opposed to marrying a woman. But in the sense that women can, after the man accepts their proposal (see number one), proceed to do all the marriage rites from the traditional marriage to the formal church wedding.
You know how it is, go to the man’s house and formally tell the man’s family of your intention to marry their son. Then bankroll everything. Hell, you women make as much money as men these days.
Date like a guy: yes I won’t mind this one bit since I am not yet ready to get married. In the interim, why not pay the bills when we go on dates.
I know a certain class of girls would really frown on that. They can’t get it round their beautiful heads these are easy things women can do to spice up our lives together.
Watch TV like me: let me break it down for the women: that means stop watching brain-killing programs like all those Telenovelas from Mexico and clichéd Indian movies and dramas. These are as bad as the Telenovelas.
What to watch? Try the sports channel for a bit. Football matches, no matter how old, would be a good start
Protect our affair like I do: you know how we pick fights with other men when we see them having a civil conversation with you? We don’t care who the man is or who initiated the conversation. We take extreme measures to make sure the man stayed away from you.
So when you see me talking to a woman, go after her with all you’ve got. Just leave me alone. After all, I am the victim of her feminine wiles. Don’t do that sensible thing of trying to talk sternly with me first.
Use the phone like a guy: and by that I mean use it sparingly. Call me the way a guy would do it. That is, hardly ever unless it is absolutely necessary.
Seriously, I’d be fine if you don’t call all week. You have important things to do. Like…, making money for our future together.
Man the home like me: that means stop getting squeamish over little things like bugs and lizards. When you see them, kill them like I would.
Though I have to admit I love how you squeal and jump on me when you see a rat scurrying across the room. It gives me a sense of power. That I am useful after all
Though I won’t mind doing the ‘squealing-and-jumping-on-you’ thing while you think of ways to handle the crisis.
Guys, I am absolutely sure you agree those are things women can do easily to make our relationship better. Right? Thought so too. I’d welcome your opinion on this in the comments section below. Our Facebook and Twitter pages are also available for comments. Cheers.