I Love Relationship

Dating, Relationship and Marriage Advice

  • Home
  • Relationship
    • Relationship Tips
    • Relationship Advice
  • Fashion & Beauty
    • Fashion Tips
    • Beauty
  • Wedding & Accessories
    • Marriage
    • Cakes
  • Family & Health
    • Parenting
    • Healthy Living
    • Inspirational
  • Love Messages
    • Love sms
      • Love text messages
      • Love quotes
      • Relationship sms
      • Relationship quotes
    • Birthday Wishes
    • Christmas Messages
    • Valentine SMS
    • Easter wishes
    • Friendship sms
      • friendship text message
      • Inspirational sms
  • Contact Us
You are here: Home / Relationship Advice / Marrying Across Class Lines: Why It is Not A good Idea

Marrying Across Class Lines: Why It is Not A good Idea

When John met Sarah in his final year, he immediately knew she was the girl for him. Any other consideration was secondary in his determination to spend the rest of his life with her. He did not care that marrying across class lines could pose several issues later.

marrying across class lines

Two years later, after his mandatory one year national service, he got a good job. He did the next thing he thought was the most important thing at that point. He married Sarah.

These days, John’s friends and family are tired of his constant complaints about his young bride. You see, he did not understand that marrying across class lines has its own special baggage that one has to deal with.

Listening to John complain about lovely, simple Sarah, I knew it was just the fact he crossed several social lines to marry that was at the bottom of all his complaints.

Let’s look at where problems can rear their heads in this sort of relationship.

In-laws

marrying across class lines

That is the first place any newlyweds should expect friction from.

When John told his family about his intention to marry Sarah, the initial barrage of questions went along these lines

Who is her father and what does he do?

Which family is she from?

What part of town are they living?

It soon became clear to him his family were more fixated on her social class than her person. Up to this this moment, Sarah hardly gets the respect she deserves from her in-laws. Their attitude towards her is downright patronizing.

At the other end, Sarah’s family sees John as a sort of benefactor. When they have to weigh-in on a squabble between Sarah and John, they invariably support John. They are simply afraid of annoying the man that took their daughter out of poverty.

It is no brainer if you think Sarah is miserable. She is.

Friends

marrying across class lines

In the case of Sarah, practically all her close friends have deserted her. The reason is simple. They felt uncomfortable in her new social class. Nobody told them outright, but they felt John’s friends were just tolerating them.

The issue of mutual friends is one factor people fail to take into consideration when they are marrying across class lines.

Friends can be merciless in how they treat your spouse if they think he/she is lacking in some relevant ways.

For Sarah, the psychological toll of constantly learning how to fit in with her husband’s friends plus his constant criticism if she fell short became too much for her. She just gave up. Instead she stopped going out with him and avoided his friends as much as possible.

Adjustment curve can prove too much

marrying across class lines

Both parties in the relationship have to change to strike a workable balance. Even in normal situations, relationships that last the distance involves lots of sacrifices from both partners.

Marrying across class lines means the adjustment curve had been raised far higher than normal. The sacrifices from both couple would have to be more.

What if one partner is strong-headed and refused to change an aspect of their personality? What if one partner over-compensates? Wouldn’t they bear some grudge that could be used as a sort of emotional prop to be used in a future crisis?

Recall I said John is always full of complaints about his wife? His gripe can seem silly to you if you don’t appreciate how marrying across class lines can be a problem

For instance, he hates the fact his wife has no interest in anything beyond her social environment. He can’t talk to her about how the going-ons in a foreign country can affect them.

He can’t get her to start listening to good music outside of the local gospels songs she liked singing. Even the movies she loves, which at one time he thought was just silly, now grates on his nerves when he sees her watching them.

Now, he is afraid his wife would bring up their future kids to embrace her world view. But I think he should not be worried about his kids though.

Good schools, peers and environment would play a bigger role in shaping his kids than what he or his wife would do to them.

I remember when we were young, broke and hot-headed, we only go out with girls far down the social ladder if we wanted a quick score. It was snobbish behavior. But we were young and did not know any better.

My advice to any couple about marrying across class lines is always consistent: don’t do it. That is why I am a big advocate of dating for as long as possible. That way, you have a fair idea what you are getting into.

But even at that, marriage is a whole new ball game from dating. A different league entirely. So why complicate it further by marrying across class lines?

You don’t see anything wrong with marrying across class lines? Why don’t you tell me about it in the comment section below? We welcome all other comments too.

And remember to share this on Facebook or Twitter with your friends. Cheers.


Related Posts

  • When Lovers Fight: How To Come Out Smelling Of Roses If You Have To Pick SidesWhen Lovers Fight: How To Come Out Smelling Of Roses If You Have To Pick Sides
  • 10 Common Pitches Men Use To Get A Romantic Bedroom Tryst With A Girl10 Common Pitches Men Use To Get A Romantic Bedroom Tryst With A Girl
  • Emotional Bullies In Relationships: Everything You Need To Know About Them Before They Wreck Your LifeEmotional Bullies In Relationships: Everything You Need To Know About Them Before They Wreck Your Life
  • Forgiveness Is Overrated; It is Just The First Step In A Long Healing ProcessForgiveness Is Overrated; It is Just The First Step In A Long Healing Process
  • The Economics Of Relationships Can Help Explain The Motives Behind Your ActionsThe Economics Of Relationships Can Help Explain The Motives Behind Your Actions
  • The Effects Of Separation On Kids On How To Effectively Manage ThemThe Effects Of Separation On Kids On How To Effectively Manage Them

Filed Under: Relationship Advice Tagged With: female, Male, Marrying across class lines, Relationship advice, Social classes

About Austin Cyril

I read. I brood. I write. In between all that, I ponder one of the biggest existential questions of the modern era: would Arsenal ever win the league again?

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • All About Social Anxiety Counseling
  • Lip Fillers – Why is everyone Crazy About Them?
  • How to Stop Thinking About An Ex
  • In Love Relationship Quotes You Should Send to Your Lover
  • Kissing Tips And The Best Ways To Indulge In It
  • What to Know When Giving a Car as a Gift
  • A Few Critical Factors Impacting Your Piano Learning Experiences
  • A Fundamental Discussion to Find Out Whether You Can Post Your Own Bail
  • There’s a hat for every head

Trending

  • 12 Sure Signs that Show if Your Boyfriend Truly Love You (395)
  • NYSC 2015 Batch A Tertiary Institution Senate Approve List Confirmation (300)
  • Love Text Messages For Girlfriend or Boyfriend (272)
  • HOW TO UNLOCK YOUR 3G MODEM AND TURN IT INTO UNIVERSAL 3G MODEM (272)
  • Sweet Love text messages, love quotes and Relationship quotes (255)
  • Romantic Love Messages For Him (252)
  • How To Talk To Girl You Never Met Before And Impress Her (183)

Products

Characteristics of a Successful Online Store

Why Should You Moisturize Your Skin?

“How To Overcome Frustrations Of A Single Guy And Begin To Get Girlfriend Effortlessly”

Health

Learn How Delta 8 Tinctures Can Improve Your Health

Teaching Your Children Dental Hygiene

8 Reasons to Hop on the CBD Trend

Relationship Advice

Threesome. Everything you need to know to enjoy them

My Boss is Flirting With Me; Ways To Save Your Relationship And Career

Best Ways to Keep a Conversation Going With Woman

Are You Single and Tired of Living a Lonely Life? CLICK HERE To Discover How and Where to Meet The Kind of Man You'll Love to Marry

Fashion & Beauty

Lip Fillers – Why is everyone Crazy About Them?

There’s a hat for every head

How to Become the Perfect Prom Princess

Privacy Policy | Copyright © 2021 I Love Relationship.