Knowing how to spot a player is something many ladies wished they knew before getting burned by a man. For some ladies, they go through many sad experiences before realizing how to spot a player.
The story is always the same. The dude is smooth. He has a way of hitting the right notes with just words. He ticks all the boxes of the sort of man you want to have a long relationship with. Scratch that. You want to spend the rest of your life with him.
Later, depending on how soon you catch on, you discover he is not what he says he is. You world, as far as the relationship is concerned, crashes around you. This is because, your seemingly perfect dream man, just can’t keep his hands on just one girl.
You realize too late that he is a womanizer. He is the quintessence of the classic, ‘He goes after anything in a skirt.’
It is at this point you’d wished you knew the rulebook of how to spot a player. We learn every day though. Below are some simple tips on how to spot a player to avoid getting involved with a womanizer.
7 ways how to spot a player
1. His past affairs are shrouded in secrecy
All experienced womanizers leave a trail of broken hearts that is long and colorful. But this is something they would never share with you because they know it would scare you off.
As his next victim, he would make you believe he was never in a serious relationship before. Or he might claim he was hurt badly in a previous relationship which is why he doesn’t want to talk about it. That is as far as might go in revealing his past.
Insisting on details would only get him to clam up on you. He might even turn it around and claim your obsession about his past is weird. This is all to make you quit asking uncomfortable questions.
2. He is a master of small talk
Apart from hiding his past from you, he won’t be terribly interested in knowing the real you. When he asks about you, the questions are not in-depth.
Small talk like what you do for a living and your favorite TV shows are the sort of conversation you would get. He is not interested in knowing your plans for the future or what makes you tick. How intelligent you are is none of his business.
Basically, he can talk with you for hours while making sure the conversation is about trivial things.
3. Too many women in his social media
We all have one social media account or another. It is almost impossible not to have one if you have a smartphone. Generally, our social media are filled with friends of both sexes.
However, if your man is a womanizer, you’d get the impression his social account is an audition account for female models or actresses.
The ladies on his social media all tend to be pretty and hot. The types that are ready and willing to hook up with any available man.
Some players though don’t discriminate on the sort of ladies they hit on. They don’t care if the lady is the vulnerable and nice type or clever type. Every female is fair game to them.
4. His friends/family are unknown to you
One way to know a guy is very serious about you is if he gets you to meet his friends and family. A player though, would do his best to minimize contact between you and his family and friends.
You might get to meet one or two. In which case, introductions are always casual; giving the impression you are nothing special.
His friends or family too would not even make an attempt to know you well. They know you are just his current fling so nothing good would come off the affair.
This is a red hot warning sign on how to spot a player.
5. Players are very romantic
Womanizes are like high-pressure salesmen. They want you to buy what they are offering immediately. So they offer lots of bogus incentives.
It is the same with a player. They know all the moves about being romantic and getting a girl to like them. They would surprise you with things that would get you all soft inside.
Allied to their romantic side is this rush to get down to the real business. Though they won’t clearly state it, you would get the impression they want you to make up your mind in a hurry.
After all, what they really want is to get it over with you and get on to the next victim. They get their mojo from sowing their wild oats with as many ladies as possible.
6. Good friends would warn you about him
Your friends, if they really care about you, would likely warn you about him after some time. Fact is, it is easy for them to see through him because they are not so besotted with him like you.
Unfortunately, warnings from friends never seem to work. Chances are, you’d think they are just jealous of your perfect affair.
But you would do well to listen to your friends. They see things you missed and have your interest at heart. Most often than not, they tend to be correct.
7. Follow your instincts if something seems off
If you are not desperate to have a man in your life, it would be easy to heed this advice.
If something seems fishy about him, or some alarm bells are ringing somewhere in your mind, take a step back. Listen to your mind. Perhaps, it is your innate self-preservation instincts warning you.
The best thing is to keep him at arm’s length for as long as possible. A true player would certainly move on after a while if you refused to take his baits after some time.
So, these are 7 easy and simple ways how to spot a player and escape the clutches of a womanizer.
We would love to hear from you about your dealings with a player and how you coped with him. Do you have any more advice for the ladies on how to spot a player?