Serious love triangles can happen to just about anybody. If you are reading this with a smirk on your lips thinking it you would never be involved in one, then be wary of these very wise words, ‘Shit happens.‘
I’m not sure I can even classify serious love triangles under ‘shit’. Yeah, they are very complicated and distressing when they are in full flight, but they still involve love between people. And love, no matter how perfect it is, is very complicated.
For those who are wandering what love triangles are, by the time you get to the end of this piece, I bet you’d be nodding your head in agreement, thumping your chest and saying, ‘That stuff is real bro, and it happens all the time.’
What are Serious Love Triangles?
Instead of doing a definition of serious love triangles, the way we define things in school work, let me paint a picture of two scenarios that aptly capture what a love triangle is.
You are in love with Tina. She is the perfect girl. She has everything a man could ever need in a girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Then along came Stella, one thing led to another, you find yourself deeply in love with Stella. You love her as much as you do Tina or even more.
But, you can’t dump Tina just like that.
Second scenario: you first saw Ruth across a crowded room at a dinner party or a conference or your favourite club. Your eyes lock with hers. Invisible sparks fly across the room and in your mind, she is the perfect girl for you.
She may or may not feel the same way about you at first. But you gather your wits about you and talk to her. One thing leads to another. You guys fall in love. But the problem is, she is already in love with Paul who happens to be a swell guy. Almost the perfect guy for any woman.
How would both scenarios be resolved? Those are the quintessential serious love triangles, and there are several variations of them. However the essential ingredient is, one person is conflicted on who to choose between two loves.
How do People end up in Serious Love Triangles?
Having a crush on somebody who is already in a relationship is nowhere near a love triangle. A crush is just, well, a crush.
Or if a friend told you they are in love with you, this also is not a love triangle while you are in a perfectly happy relationship; that also is not a love triangle.
Serious love triangles start when that love is returned. The point being, if you are in love with someone and they don’t give a fig about you, what can you do except to slink away with your tail between your legs?
So serious love triangles only happen when the love is mutual and there is a desire for both parties to explore it further.
We Never Dream of being Involved in Serious Love Triangles.
Yes, there is dreaming and then there is reality. When we paint the picture of our perfect partner and a long, happy life together, a third party is never a part of the canvass.
But life happens. Or like I said earlier, shit happens. Almost everybody I know had, at one time or the other, being a part something like this. Sometimes, it is inevitable that you need to lure the love of your life from someone else. And then they have to make a decision between you and the other person.
Effect of Serious Love Triangles on Relationships
I have never seen a situation where everybody ended up with the result they wanted. At the least, somebody is going to get seriously hurt.
At the extreme, serious love triangles have the potential to tear apart families, friends and professional colleagues. I have seen it happening time and time again. Apparently, when it comes to matters of the heart, human beings never learn from history. We keep repeating the same mistakes.
Serious love triangles, basically, always have a negative effect on our relationships. Not just with our partners, but with the people close to us.
How to Avoid Serious Love Triangles
This is one situation I can’t sit here and act like I can come up with all the right answers. If you’d live long enough, you’d know serious love triangles are inevitable. There is no helping it.
But we can mitigate the impact on our lives if we can act sensibly. I am talking about the advice we give to friends if we notice them about to get involved in one.
We should be proactive and tell them to squash the budding disaster and insist on it.
Because in the final analysis, it is very selfish to go into it. Apart from the fact that it is cheating, it is a betrayal of the trust from a loved one who was unfortunate to fall in love with you.
However, if you are in a love triangle of the worst sort and you are conflicted about it, it doesn’t make you a bad or a mean person. It just means your imperfection as a human being is right in front of you.
If you have some thoughts on what you just read, we would love your comments here or on our Facebook or Twitter handles. Cheers.