If your parents don’t like your girlfriend, that could be a sign of a much deeper problem. It is a common state of affair when dudes find it difficult to get along with their parents. Sometimes it is mostly down to the generational gap.
Having difficult parents could also be a result of a defect in the character of the parents. I know it is hard to admit this about our parents, but the truth is, the adults that raised you could be dealing with untreated psychotic issues. Bad parents are all over the place, but the respect we have for them precludes us from calling it the way it is.
Any reasonable person would be dismayed if their parents don’t like the girl they intend to spend the rest of their lives with. Some parents behave this way out of a sense they know what is best for their kids.
Imagine that. You took you time to choose what you consider the perfect partner for yourself, only to have your parents tell you your choice is not good enough.
It is understandable if the girl in question has some questionable history. In extreme cases, parents would never be satisfied with whoever you bring home. They have to be the ones to choose the girl for you.
If you are in that unfortunate situation, first thing to remember is you are now an adult and very capable of making decisions for yourself. Confronting your parents can be scary sometimes, but hey, as an adult, I promise you the least of your concerns going forward in life would be your parents.
So here is the perfect mix of ingredients for you: you are an adult, you have a nice girlfriend, your parents don’t like your girlfriend; this is how I’d advice you to handle this potentially explosive situation
Table of Contents
What to do if your Parents don’t like your Girlfriend
Have a long chat with your parents
Okay, now you realized your parents don’t like your girlfriend. The first thing to do is to talk it over with them. Ease them into telling you why they don’t like your girlfriend.
Because of the generation gap, we tend to think parents are not smart enough for us. You would be shocked that the accumulated knowledge of a life time cannot be replaced by gadgets or smart schools.
Let them explain to you why they dislike your partner and you might learn a thing or two. It could be they noticed something about her you missed in all that rush of excitement of finding the love of your life.
Whatever it is they tell you about her, at least you’ve made them realize you value their opinion about how you lead your life. They would appreciate that and respect you for it even if they don’t say it out loud.
Look for a compromise
Now you’ve done talking, it is time to start acting like the adult you are.
While your parents were telling you why they don’t like your girlfriend, try and find something that could be used as a meeting point between yours and their point of view.
While explaining to them the reasons you want to be with her, don’t make it sound as if you are forcing them to accept her or go to hell. They are your parents remember.
Make them understand you are prepared to take their advice on how to make your girl more acceptable to them. Of course, you are not telling them you’d dump her because of how they feel about her.
Don’t Push it
One big mistakes dudes make in this sort of situation is trying to force a relationship between girlfriend and parents.
Both parties are already on edge. If you try to force you girlfriend to go see your parents in the mistaken belief it would resolve the situation, you would only succeed in making her miserable.
You parents might think she is trying too hard to make them change their opinion of her. A form of bribery. While your girl on the other hand might feel that your parents were very patronizing. This is very insulting to an intelligent girl.
Move things along casually
So instead of forcing your girl onto your parents, your best bet is to set up a meet as if it was unintentional. The church is a fine place to bump into your parents ‘accidentally’ with your one and only.
Family affairs like birthdays or the wedding of a relative is also a fine opportunity for both parties to interact without the pressure of feeling something is at stake.
This way, you are easing your parents into accepting her as the woman of your life.
It’s your life not theirs
That is what everything comes down to. You have done everything possible to have them change their minds and it hadn’t worked.
Well, at the end of the day, it is your life. They have no choice but to allow you to make your own mistakes. It a choice both parties have to live with in the final analysis.
Though it would be awesome if you can get them to see your girlfriend the way you see her. But life is no bed of roses. This situation is just one of the thorns you have to live with.
If you have other important tips on how to handle this situation, please let us know about them. I bet there is some dude out there who would benefit from your wisdom.
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