Your first love is almost like a stronger, more powerful version of first impressions. You know how those first impressions last? Somehow, the feelings we get the first time we meet people tend to get very fixated in our minds.
Your first love too works with the same principles.
Ask anybody about the first time they fell in love or anything about the experiences they had with their first love. You would be shocked at the number of details they been dredge up. For many, the memories would be so fresh as if it all happened yesterday.
In almost all cases, they would even be able to remember things that happened decades ago.
There is no scientific reason why your first love has a powerful hold on your memory. One thing is sure though, your subsequent affairs would always be colored by the experiences you had when you first truly fell in love.
So why are first loves so hard to forget? Why do so many people have clear memories of innocuous incidences that happened when they fell in love for the first time? Here are 4 reasons to explain this phenomenon.
Reasons your first love is hard to forget.
1. Most of the feelings are new
Prior to falling in love for the first time, you must have had crushes on somebody or even lusted after a couple of people. Also, you must have liked someone so much you felt it was the real thing.
However, when you really fall in love for the first time, it puts the other emotions in perspective. The experience would be your first experience in differentiating between lust, crush, and fondness on one hand and being in love someone on the other.
It would be the first time you come to understand that you can literally sacrifice your life for somebody else. The feelings are so strong they leave a lasting impression on your virgin heart.
2. It becomes the standard of future affairs
It is inevitable to always compare what we used to have with what we have now. And because of the way the memory works, the past tends to trump the present. That is why you hear people talking about, ‘The good old days.’
The same emotion works with a first love. With the benefit of hindsight and elapsed time, everything seemed better. Unconsciously, your subsequent affairs become an exercise in comparisons with that first love.
This can be a source of tension with your current partner if you don’t have the good sense to keep your thoughts to yourself. Because, everybody knows, it is easier to remember only the good memories of a past affair.
3. The first break up was off the scale
For most people, first loves almost always end up in breakups. It is safe to say that most of us never knew the exquisite pains of a break up before our first love.
The emotions, pains and hopelessness of that break up would never be felt to the same degree again. Nothing in our future life would compare to that.
This can be explained simply by the fact that at the time of falling in love for the first time, you were inexperienced and naive. All the sacrifices and effort you poured into the affair were done with a false sense of the future.
As far as you were concerned, the love is going to last forever. The love was your destiny and nothing would snatch it away from you. Basically, it is the innocence of ignorance leading you down that rose-covered path.
Because your whole being was totally and utterly invested in loving, you would be completely devastated when the inevitable crash comes.
The extreme loneliness, misery, helplessness and dejection after the break up are feelings you never had before. You would not forget the experience in a hurry. As a matter of fact, you’d remember them for the rest of your life.
4. You are always interested in them
No matter how much time passes, you know always want to know the current status of your first love.
Mutual friends and family members would constantly bring up the issue of your first love from time to time. Even if they don’t bring it up, you would ask about your first love when you meet these mutual friends.
It is simply the innate curiosity present in normal people at work here. You just want to know how the person that gave you some of your most cherished and unforgettable memories is doing at the moment.
You would want to know how life has treated them after so many years. You would want to compare your current status with theirs. And you would use the time to wonder how different your life might have been had you stuck with them.
You would always be thirsty about what is currently going on with your first love. Especially if they live far away from you.
For this reason, forgetting them is practically impossible.
Did this piece about your first love take your down memory lane? Do you agree with the central idea of the impact of first love in your life? Tell us what you think about it in the comment section below.