I Love Relationship

Relationship and Dating Advice

  • Home
  • Relationship
    • Relationship Tips
    • Relationship Advice
  • Fashion & Beauty
    • Fashion Tips
    • Beauty
  • Wedding & Accessories
    • Marriage
    • Cakes
  • Family & Health
    • Parenting
    • Healthy Living
    • Inspirational
  • Love Messages
    • Love sms
      • Love text messages
      • Love quotes
      • Relationship sms
      • Relationship quotes
    • Birthday Wishes
    • Christmas Messages
    • Valentine SMS
    • Easter wishes
    • Friendship sms
      • friendship text message
      • Inspirational sms
  • Contact Us

When Lovers Fight: How To Come Out Smelling Of Roses If You Have To Pick Sides

You must have heard it said several times that when lovers fight, stay out of it. That is the smart thing to do. Experience has taught people they would get burnt in unimaginable ways if they don’t mind their own business.

When Lovers Fight

I learned my lesson the hard way a long time ago. My buddy, Lucky, found himself in a jam with his girlfriend. The situation was a bit convoluted, but it all boiled down to serious trust issues.

That it boiled over to such a serious point was simply down to the accumulation a little infractions over time. Both of them never bothered to talk about the little concerns they had until they couldn’t keep a lid on them any longer.

I understood something important out of that fight between Lucky and his girl: you can’t put a value on communication when you are in a relationship. Always insist on dealing with a grievance, no matter how small, immediately it happens.

Anyway, I supported my friend to the hilt. I even said some uncomplimentary things about his girlfriend. Bite me from here to eternity. Can you imagine the next time I saw him a couple of days later, he was with her and smiling like everything was okay?

Somehow they settled. I got to find out after she left that he’d told her some of the things I said about her. Apparently, he needed to reveal those things for her to agree to a truce.

I was gobsmacked. I made sure to keep quite a distance between her and me. There was no way she wouldn’t be resentful of some of the things I said.

Let’s just say I lost a friend because of that episode. But I learned a lesson though: never get involved when lovers fight!

But some people insist not all cases are the same. There could be mitigating factors that would point you in the direction to take.

So let’s take a look at all the ways you could insert yourself when lovers fight.

Remaining neutral when lovers fight

Here is the scenario for you: you are unfortunately right there when things are heating it. Both of them are looking to you to support one of them.

Remaining neutral would look like you don’t care about either of them? You friend expects support from you because you are buddies. That is what buddies do. They got each other’s back no matter the circumstances.

As for your buddy’s partner, they expect you to look at the case on merit. That is another way of saying they expect you to make your friend see reason and admit he/she (your friend) is wrong.

And if you refuse, even if you have good reasons, you would be accused of bias; a clear lapse in judgment that doesn’t help your case as a rational person.

So what would you do since remaining neutral comes with its own perils? This leads us nicely to picking one side or the other.

Backing your friend when lovers fight

When Lovers Fight

It is so darn easy to support your friend in a situation like this. Come on, it is expected of you.

Some friends even take it upon themselves to make their friend’s lover come to a lot of grief. It is the classic example of going above and beyond your duties as a friend.

But as mentioned earlier, this could backfire. If they reconcile behind your back, just know one or both of them would be after you.

Your friend might decide you showed too much enthusiasm in your support. You know, after a lovers quarrel, reconciliation can be so sweet. This could lead both lovers to make new commitments to each other.

And one such commitment could be distancing themselves from your meddling ass. You would be lucky if they don’t accuse you of actively working to undermine the relationship.

It is not beyond the realms of possibility for them to claim it was your underhand tactics that escalated the problem between them. That is how people in love roll.

Now see why I like the third option.

Supporting your buddy’s lover in a quarrel

In one of my ‘light bulb‘ moments, it suddenly hit me that I could get away with anything as long it is my friend we are talking about. Yes, practically anything apart from extreme stuff like hitting on his girlfriend though.

He is my friend. We’ve come a long way and nothing as small as backing his girlfriend can break what we have. And it doesn’t matter if the partner is wrong, back them against your buddy.

When you support your friend’s partner, you are making it clear you like and approve of the partner. You are also making it clear to the partner you can be trusted to make sound judgments devoid of emotions.

And after the inevitable reconciliation, it won’t be a hard thing for your friend’s lover to extol your virtues as a good friend. Even if your friend is mad, it won’t be for long.

You can always explain things to your friend when you guys meet later. As good friends, you would be forgiven and you guys would laugh over it.

So you have now gained the full trust of one more person (your friend’s lover). That trust could come in handy someday I promise you.

So, how would you handle such a situation if you find yourself between your friend and their partner? If you have ever been in a situation like that, please tell us how you handled yourself and how it got resolved.

Hope your peacemaking efforts didn’t come back to bite you somewhere delicate?

Use the comments box below to let us know your thoughts. And please share this with your friends on Facebook and Twitter if you liked what you read. We’d appreciate that.

Cheers.

1.4k
768
506
383
2k

Related Posts

  • Ways To Deal With A Lying Girlfriend And Retain Your SanityWays To Deal With A Lying Girlfriend And Retain Your Sanity
  • Never Try To Get Your Ex Back Until You Read ThisNever Try To Get Your Ex Back Until You Read This
  • 6 Ways To Avoid Getting Dumped By Your Girlfriend6 Ways To Avoid Getting Dumped By Your Girlfriend
  • 10 Common Pitches Men Use To Get A Romantic Bedroom Tryst With A Girl10 Common Pitches Men Use To Get A Romantic Bedroom Tryst With A Girl
  • Emotional Bullies In Relationships: Everything You Need To Know About Them Before They Wreck Your LifeEmotional Bullies In Relationships: Everything You Need To Know About Them Before They Wreck Your Life
  • Forgiveness Is Overrated; It is Just The First Step In A Long Healing ProcessForgiveness Is Overrated; It is Just The First Step In A Long Healing Process

Filed Under: Dating Tips & Others Tagged With: female, Fighting Couple, Male, Mutual Friends, Reconciliation, Relationship advice, Relationship problems

About Austin Cyril

I read. I brood. I write. In between all that, I ponder one of the biggest existential questions of the modern era: would Arsenal ever win the league again?

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • 5 Simple Dinner Ideas for a Romantic Night In
  • How To Spice Up Your Love Life In Fun Ways
  • Exploring Your Sexuality: Popular Types Of Fetish Lifestyles to Try
  • Ready to Settle Down? Here Are 5 Tips to Get a Girlfriend
  • 5 Valentine’s Day Activities to Do at Home
  • 7 Effective Tips to Revitalize Your Sex Life
  • 7 Tips On How to Make a Girl Laugh
  • Cats Panting: Basics of Cat Care
  • 7 Reasons Why Men Prefer Girly Girls
Am I enabling my loved one's addiction? Take the am I an enabler addiction quiz here

Trending

  • 12 Sure Signs that Show if Your Boyfriend Truly Love You (387)
  • NYSC 2015 Batch A Tertiary Institution Senate Approve List Confirmation (300)
  • Love Text Messages For Girlfriend or Boyfriend (272)
  • HOW TO UNLOCK YOUR 3G MODEM AND TURN IT INTO UNIVERSAL 3G MODEM (272)
  • Sweet Love text messages, love quotes and Relationship quotes (253)
  • Romantic Love Messages You Will Love (252)
  • How To Talk To Girl You Never Met Before And Impress Her (180)

Products

Characteristics of a Successful Online Store

Why Should You Moisturize Your Skin?

“How To Overcome Frustrations Of A Single Guy And Begin To Get Girlfriend Effortlessly”

Relationship Advice

How To Spice Up Your Love Life In Fun Ways

Ready to Settle Down? Here Are 5 Tips to Get a Girlfriend

5 Valentine’s Day Activities to Do at Home

Fashion & Beauty

5 Ways of Styling a Shacket with Various Wardrobe Pieces

How To Care For Your Hair In The Summer

9 Cool Ear Piercing Jewelry That You Can Gift Your Girlfriend

Lifstyle

Exploring Your Sexuality: Popular Types Of Fetish Lifestyles to Try

Cats Panting: Basics of Cat Care

Benefits of Using Right Light

Health

Arguments In Favor Of Smoking CBD Pre Rolls

How CDB Flower Can Help with Mental Health Issues

The Magic of Sweet Almond Oil for the Skin

Privacy Policy | Free Coupon Codes| Copyright © 2021 I Love Relationship.