Relationships are some of the most intense moments in our lives. The more intense an affair is, the greater the trauma after a breakup. Like all traumatic affairs, we go through several stages of grief after breaking up with loved ones.
If you have ever lost someone you loved dearly, it would be easy for you to recognize these stages of grief after breaking up. It is doubtful though if knowing these stages would protect you from them.
As a matter of fact, it is advisable to allow yourself go through all the stages. It helps in the healing process. For human beings, it is the psyche’s way of dealing with that shock to the system.
However, knowing the stages of grief after breaking up would help mitigate the impact. When it happens to you, at least you know what you would go through. You’d know too that millions of people have gone through the process and survived.
If it is any consolation, just know that millions around the world are suffering like you and much more would suffer the same fate in the future.
So what the stages of grief after breaking up from a relationship? Read on to find out.
Stage 1
This is called the denial stage. Your first reaction is shock and disbelief.
The feeling becomes even more intense if the break up was unexpected. It is exactly the feeling you get when you lose a close person suddenly in an accident.
For a while or for a few days or weeks, you might continue to believe the relationship is still on. You might see yourself thinking of calling your ex to hook up as usual.
But intermittently, reality would sink in. You would get angry and rage about how unfair the world is. Chances are your friends would even get tired of listening to your tirades.
If you are not careful, you might end up doing really silly and stupid things.
Stage two
Stage two is the point where you wish you can bend everything to your will. It is the point where you wished money could buy anything. It is called the ‘compromise’ or ‘bargaining’ stage.
Basically, you want to strike a deal so that you could get back with your ex.
There are so many things you would try to do in this stage of grief. For instance you might promise your partner you would try to make changes even if you weren’t the cause of the breakup.
You could even send family and friends to talk some sense into your ex just to get back. At this point, you would agree to anything ridiculous simply to have a second shot at the relationship.
Stage 3
Of all the stages of grief after breaking up, this is the most dangerous and difficult to you.
In this stage, the adrenaline of the anger and bargaining stage is all gone. You become depressed and hopeless. You see nothing good in your life or in the people around you.
In this state, some of the simplest task like taking your bath, eating or having a chat with friends becomes very tedious. All you want to do is lock yourself in a room and wallow in depression.
You simply want to be left alone to die, literally. Suicidal thoughts would be a constant companion as they swirl around in your head. Many people have been to known to commit suicide at this stage
Stage 4
Assuming you successfully navigated stage 3, you are home dry. Or as some people would say, you are now free through the acceptance of your reality.
That is why this stage is sometimes known as the acceptance and freedom stage.
You have now come to terms with the fact of your separation from your ex. However, there would be days when the dark clouds of depression would take you back to stage 3.
Hopefully, though, it is going to be a brief foray into depression because you are now stronger from the experience. So bouncing out of depression wouldn’t be an issue.
You would know the worst is over when you start doing the fun stuff you used to do prior to the breakup. You would begin to find pleasure in things you used to enjoy. Your friends and family too would once more take pleasure in your company.
These are all the stages of grief after breaking up. Since people are different, the length of time from stage one to four would differ. It is all about the personality. Some people take years to get to stage 4.
And unfortunately, some never make it out of grief in spite of the best efforts of friends and family.
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