It won’t be a surprise if you knew there are different types of love. Chances are you’ve been told by some smart-talking friend that what you are feeling at the moment is not real love but lust. That can be particularly galling when you are determined to make your case about how you feel about somebody.
The overriding feeling could be, ‘How could they possibly know how you really feel?’ And besides, who made them the expert about the way your heart feels?
The truth is they could be right. We don’t actually feel the same kind of love for different people. Sometimes it is all a matter of degree (how much we love them); at other times it just simply a spur of the moment emotion that would fizzle away in no time at all.
When it comes to the various types of love, the ancient Greeks had it all figured out. Their famous philosophers really took time put to help mankind understand the feelings people project on to others. Today, the types of love as articulated by them are still very valid.
Below are the various types of love and how they could explain the way you are feeling towards somebody at any point in time.
Types of love as defined by ancient philosophers
If your personality tends towards Eros, it means you are likely to love people because of the way they look.
Eros was the God of love and sexual desire in Greek mythology. Accordingly, this love is all about the intense physical relationship based mainly on how attractive the person is.
If the love you have falls into this category, you’d want the relationship to evolve fast. You won’t have time for patient courting. How long your love interest lasts depends on how soon you get what you want.
Most times though, this sort of love gets bored easily. It is always on the lookout for a new love interest.
Ludus is the kind of love that never gets serious. If your personality is all about Ludus love, you want relationships to be casual and playful.
You simply want to love without any commitment. For some ladies, Ludus love is an extreme form of flirting. The love never gets beyond the flirtation stage.
So if you have the tendency to cheat on your partner always, that could be explained by this type of love.
Phylia could be the direct opposite of Eros. Also known as brotherly love or love of the mind, it is very sincere and is devoid of romantic feelings.
This type of love is used to define how we feel towards our best friends or close siblings. With Phylia love, you know the person is always dependable and have many interests in common with you.
Mania type lovers are hardly ever in healthy romantic relationships. As the name implies, the love is manic.
This is characterized by being a very possessive lover. You’d want to control your partner and know what they are doing all the time. Jealous rages are a feature of this kind of love.
An Agape love is the closest thing to perfect love one can possibly get in an imperfect human being.
Among all the types of love, Agape love is the one that is mostly equated to God-like. This love is completely unselfish, doesn’t want anything and happiness only come when the loved one is happy.
An Agape lover, therefore, does everything possible to make sure their lover is okay. Ever heard about killing for love? Or moving mountains for love? Agape love doesn’t blink about doing these things.
Basically, Philautia is excessive love of self. Extreme cases of this type of love are known as narcissism.
Philautia though can go two ways. The first is where one is totally selfish in the affair. Everything that happens in the relationship must reflect well on them. This love would prioritize love and fame over the feelings of their partner.
Philautia can also be healthy in the sense of loving oneself adequately. It is important because you can only love others if you know how to love yourself. This type of Philautia is necessary for every healthy relationship.
When you search carefully for a lover based on certain characteristics, you are likely a Pragma lover. Pragma types don’t fall blindly in love or even believe in love at first sight.
They take time out to study whoever they are interested in. When they love, it is because they are satisfied their partner possess some important qualities.
Pragma believes in serious, long-lasting relationships.
It is not easy to define this type of love. In some respect, it is a mix of Agape and Pragma types of love.
Think of the love parents feel towards their children. That is Storge love. Here, the physical characteristics and what one can get from loving are not important.
People who have been in love for a long time have developed this type of love for each other. In effect, the love comes naturally just like going sleep and waking up. It is something that is just there.
Explaining the various types of love is not always straightforward. Even with a dominant love type, there would be vestiges of other types of love in the person. However, having this knowledge would help you know what kind of affair you want and who you are compatible with.
So, what sort of love type do you think you are? Have you experienced all the above types of love with others? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.