If you have been attending couples therapy with your spouse, you probably have already been exposed to the term ‘separation.’ For many, the idea of a divorce may be hard to swallow; therefore, you might want to consider the option of separation and trying to work things out before deciding on terminating your relationship.
Separation – Is It Really the End?
The answer is no. Even though separation might seem like a drastic step for your marriage, it can be the force that will bring you back together – or maybe just be the spark you need to rediscover your own self.
Perhaps when you have some time to yourself, you can even learn about your sexual desires that your marriage has not granted you the opportunity to explore. A period of separation can be the perfect opportunity to take part in sex therapy, or do something more daring in terms of rediscovering your sexuality, such as discovering a sex doll buyer’s guide. Who knows, you might realize something that will completely change the way you experience sexual intercourse.
However, before you start the process of finding yourself again, we’d like to outline the difference between a trial separation and a legal separation and how both of them can impact your marriage.
A trial separation is simply an informal agreement between two married people to live separately and take time off to evaluate their feelings towards one another. This form of separation does not involve any forms of legal agreements or any formal proceedings.
The second form of separation is known as a legal separation, which involves a couple also taking time apart, but drafting legal agreements with a lawyer’s involvement in matters as child custody, utility bills, etc.
Such arrangements provide a base of security during the separation period, with both people being able to decide upon how they see their marriage’s future and obligate them in some form to continue the responsibilities a marriage bears.
Which Form of Separation Should I Try?
Suppose you’re willing to enter separation to test out your relationship and wonder whether you should try a trial or legal separation. In that case, we’re here to tell you which form might be the right one for you.
Legal separation is a better option to choose if you have kids, which you will have to share custody of. It is best to undertake this form of separation as it will, later on, restrict any arguments regarding who takes the kids and when, which can cause tension between you and your spouse. If your relationship also involves business-related matters, you should consider this form of separation, as it will outline the responsibilities both parties have.
On the other hand, if you don’t have a lot of tangible commitments connecting both of you, you should opt for a trial separation. Not only will it save you legal costs associated with any documents drafted, but it will also make the process feel much more natural and smooth.
Do Trial Separations Actually Work?
Whether a trial separation works is a very complicated matter, as contrary to maths, there isn’t a single answer. The closest we could get to answering this one is that it depends on the circumstances. Some people praise a six-month break as a source of their marriage reconsolidation; others, not so much.
The efficiency of trial separation simply depends on how much is there to “fix” when it comes to your marriage. While it’s a shot worth taking, you should remember that there won’t always be a happy ending. For instance, if you have trouble trusting your S/O, you might realize that even after a separation period, you still don’t feel confident about your relationship.
Marriages most often fail due to different life perspectives and plans for the future, infidelity, or simply problems gathered throughout your marriage. Those can involve financial difficulties, various views on upbringing your kids, or a lack of intimate fulfillment.
If your marriage is hurting due to things you’re able to change, then we think trial separation might work for you. It can make you realize that you’re able to pass upon some matters for the sake of being with the other person, or it can make you understand that you’re happier when you’re alone. Either way, a trial separation is an opportunity for both you and your partner to re-think if you’re more comfortable being alone or with the other person, as well as what it is precisely that you want in life.
Keeping some distance from your significant other for a while can result in two scenarios. Both of you realize how much you have shifted apart and are better off alone, or you feel the need to reconnect with your spouse. Either way, taking time apart can be an excellent opportunity for you to realize what it is that you want in life and to re-discover yourself – your passions and desires.
Don’t feel obliged to have to make up your mind after a short period of living apart. Every relationship is different, and thus you might need more time to understand your feelings towards the other person fully before deciding on whether you want to get back together into your marital home.