So – you’ve done it! You’ve finally broken up with that ex that has been holding you back for far too long. And now you’re ready to move on with your new relationship and are maybe even looking forward to settling down and getting married.
And yet, even though you’ve clearly moved on, your ex keeps texting you and asking how you’re doing. Or they keep showing up unannounced and expecting you to hang out with them. Or perhaps they’re still trying to control part of your life, by telling you who you should or shouldn’t date.
If you are willing to remain friends with your ex, establish firm boundaries about what is and isn’t okay. But if you’re not willing to be friends and they still won’t leave you alone, it is time to take some measures to make sure they’re out of your life for good.
Set boundaries
There might be some situations where you need to maintain contact with an ex, such as if you have a child with them. If there is any reason you need or want to maintain a relationship with them, make sure to be very clear that you have broken up with them and these are your expectations moving forward. For example, if you have a child with them, make it clear you will only answer questions about the child and that you will not engage with irrelevant conversations.
Block forms of communication
If you’ve set firm boundaries and made it clear that you don’t want anything to do with them, your next step is to start blocking forms of communication. Delete them off social media, change your phone number, get a new email address.
If you ignore conversation from them or if they can’t get in contact with you, they will hopefully get the picture and start moving on as well. Get rid of any connection with them, even if it means you can no longer stalk their Instagram photos!
Consult a professional
If it seems like they’re still not respecting your boundaries or are trying to get in contact with you, it could be time to consult a professional. Talk to a therapist, consult a witchcraft practitioner for a list of banishing spells, find a lawyer — do whatever you need to do!
Talking to a professional can give you an idea of whether your ex’s behavior is normal or not. It also alerts an outside party to the situation. Listen to the guidance the professional gives you and follow-up as needed.
Pamper yourself
Having a persistent ex can be a very stressful situation. Make sure that you take the time during all of this to treat yourself to some pampering. Schedule a time to go to the local salon, take a hot bath, go out to lunch with a friend — find what makes you happy, and do it. Don’t let your ex’s negative behavior control your life. You deserve to feel safe and mentally well. Taking time for yourself regularly will remind you that you are your own person.
Be consistent with them
Once you’ve established boundaries and have removed your ex from your life, make sure that you are consistent with them as far as communication. Your ex might be desperate for any sort of attention from you.
If you randomly text them to see how they’re doing, that communicates to them that you’re willing to accept them back into your life. This could result in them starting to pester you all over again! Whatever rules you establish after the breakup, make sure to stick to them!
Determine if it is stalking behavior
Your ex may have developed stalking behavior. If you’ve been clear with them that the relationship is over, but they’re still going out of their way to communicate with you regularly and seem to be obsessed with you, you could have a very dangerous situation.
If you suspect your ex is stalking you, change your locks immediately and consult with the police department. Make sure to document all behavior. Depending on the behavior, the police may issue an order of protection to help keep you safe.
Final thoughts
Nobody wants to deal with a persistent ex, especially when you’re trying to move onto a new relationship. Just keep in mind that there are ways to establish healthy boundaries that signal to your ex that you don’t want them in your life anymore. If they still won’t leave you alone, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional that can help.
