From the moment I saw you, I wanted to be inside you, I love your smell, the way your tongue feels, the way you tighten and loosen, mmmmmmm… new shoes!!
He came to me one night… explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed and had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… damn mosquito!
I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creating a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in and out, up and down, can’t wait till next time. I love my toothbrush!
Romantic SMS Teasers: Come here. Take off your pants and get on top of me. Enjoy me until you’re totally satisfied. Lovingly yours, Toilet!!!!
Tell me. Is it going in? Yeah! Is it hurting? Ooh yeah, Ouch! it’s hurting! Ok, I will put it in slowly. Still hurting? Ahh yeah. Then let’s try the other shoe, madam.
It goes in dry, it comes out wet. The longer it’s in, the stronger it gets. We can have it in bed, just you and me. It’s not what you think, it’s a cup of tea!
Last night, I wanted you. I needed you so badly that it hurts. I wanted to taste you. I wanted you in me so you could work your magic on me, but I couldn’t find you. You stupid.. paracetamol!
Last night, I couldn’t sleep. I wanted you warm against my skin. I wanted you on me. I wanted to feel you all over my body. But i couldn’t find you! Where did I put my pyjamas?
Who said fill in the blank is very easy? Try this. Fill in the blank with Yes or No. “___, I am not a normal person.”
Army: I’m going to buy my wife a bra but I don’t know the size. Saleslady: Don’t worry sir, just touch my breast and try to estimate. Army: Oh, I forgot! She needs panty too!
A little boy was so jealous about his newborn brother so he put poison on the nipple of his mom while asleep. The next day, their driver died!
Police arrests a prostitute who protests: I am not selling sex! Cop: Then, what are you doing? Prostitute: I’m a saleswoman selling condoms and offering free demo!
Funny quotes about love: Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second.
Romantic SMS Teasers: In ancient England, people could not have sex unless they had consent of the king or unless they were in the royal family. When people wanted to have a baby, they had to get the consent of the king and the king have them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had f.u.c.k. (fornication under consent of the king) on it. Hence, that’s where the word f*ck came from. Aren’t you glad you learned something new today?
A husband came home 4:00AM and saw his wife in bed with another man. His wife shouted at him: “Where have you been?!” Husband: “Who’s that man?!” Wife: “Don’t change the topic!”
Your food choices show your mood: Angry people often eat meat which they can chew aggresively, it’s like a release. Lonely people eat bulky food such as rice – they feel empty so they want something that makes them feel full. Stressed people eat chips or crackers. Sad people indulge in ice cream and cheese. Sexually frustrated people eat breads and donuts, they want something that slides down easy, no hassles.
Panty contest: How many panties do you have? Sandra: 3, for morning, afternoon and night. Aisha: 7, for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday! Jane: 12! (Wow!) For January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November and December
Man went to confession. Man: Father, during the war, a beautiful young lady asked me to hide her from the enemy, so I hid her in the attic. Father: That’s a very good gesture, you need not confess. Man: But as the days went, she repaid me with daily sexual favors. Father: That is still forgiven my son. Man: But I have another question. Father: What is it my son? Man: Shall I tell her the war is over?