Learn How To Effectively Communicate With Your Teen
How do you communicate with your teen? I mean effective communication. Many parents do get it all wrong, sorry to say that, but that is the truth.
Many parents find it difficult to effectively communicate with their teen; it often results in condemning, yelling, slamming door, resentment and even communication without hope. As a parent you should learn to communicate with these teens effectively and this post will guide you in some of the way to communicate with your teen effectively.
1. Don’t make it a one way communication
Of course you’re the parent but thinking you knows all and should be the one that do all the talking is a wrong approach when communicating with teen. When you monopolize the communication, you’re not communicating effectively as to make it beneficial to the teen.
Even if your teen don’t want to say anything, try to put some question across to him or her and ask for his or her response. You may even ask an open ended question so as not to get a yes or no for an answer. Question like; what do you think about this situation, how will go about your assignment, which of these do you want…..
By allowing your teen to contribute to the conversation, you’re given him or her more confident to open up with you and thereby, your communication will be effective.
2. Acknowledge the positive behaviour when you call on their attention
Most time when parent call on their teens attention, it is to condemn their acts or give them warning about a particular behaviour, and anything you call on their attention, they feel, they are in trouble or have done something that warrant scolding and they decide to fold up, and not open to any conversation with you.
As a parent, you should learn to call on their attention when they do something remarkable, acknowledge it every time and make them feel open to talk with you, even if you’re still going to bring in some matters that concern their not too good behaviour.
3. Don’t make judgement to finalize words when you’re still going to contact your partner.
At the adolescent stage, teens will always want what they want when they want it, and if you’re to tell them something that is final or something that will require you to contact your partner (wife or husband), don’t just go ahead and give them the final word. [Read; What values are you teach your children? Learn to do it the right way]
I will prefer you say something like; “we will get back to you”, the reason for this is that, if you’ve agreed to do something for your teen and you contacted your partner about it and he or she says no, you don’t need to grant such request like that. What will happen here is that, you’ve unknowingly painted your partner as the bad guy in the eyes of your teen.
4. The important of paraphrasing
To show to your teens that you’re actively listening to whatever she said when you want to respond in a conversation with her, make sure you make use of paraphrasing. When you paraphrase their opinion, thought or questions, it shows that you’re actively listening to whatever they are telling you and you understand their point.
Even if your response is in the negative, there will not be much argument that is seems you don’t really understand what they are trying to get across to you. Your teen will understand that you hear them well but you don’t just buy their idea. And if everything goes well, it is a plus on your side as parent; you’re able to effectively communicate with them.
I’m sure with these few points above; it will go a long way in helping you to effectively communicate with your teens.
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Yep, communicating with teens requires a special approach. Understanding the specifics of their psychology, you may find the most effective way to communicate with your teen. Showing them that we care and actvely listen to them is the easiest way to win their trust.
Wonderful article. I had the same problem when I was a child, so now I try look for some different approaches in nurturing my children. And your methods are suit for me. Thanks.
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Yes these tips are really helpful for parents bringing up their teens. A two way communication helps your child to share their problems with you and they will never hide things from parents.