How to Deal With Relationship Conflicts and Arguments
A relationship without conflict is not a relationship at all.
Though this may be true, a relationship with too many conflicts is a dysfunctional one.
Conflicts in relationships are healthy as it helps both partners grow and mature, it also aids them in reconciling their differences and learning to compromise, but a relationship that is littered with too many conflicts and arguments with little fights breaking every now and then is flawed and debilitated. Apart from that, it makes the couple feel exhausted and weary too as it would seem that all you two ever do is fight. People in relationships experience disagreements because this is a clear manifestation that both of them are two separate individuals and that no matter how much in harmony or in love, or in sync you both are to each other’s thoughts and feelings, there are things you are not going to see eye to eye with as it is normal for both of you to see things differently as you are two very different individuals.
And that is okay, very much okay in fact. What is not okay however is to let these little arguments boil over and consume the relationship, turn it inward and as a ramification, breed contempt and resentment. When your pride and being right would mean more than your partner and your love for them, then let me be the first to say that you, my friend, are doing this entire relationship thing wrong. However, this is not to say that it cannot be rectified at all, it still can and while you are here and are still able to save your relationship (or save the last vestiges of it) then take a tip or two from how you can deal with relationship conflicts down below.
1.) Do not sweat the small stuff
Whenever your partner commits a wrong—especially when it comes to inconsequential, trivial and petty matters, learn to ask yourself if working yourself to fight about it with your partner is worth the energy and exhaustion afterwards. Would it make you feel any better at all? And in the morning, would it not make you feel rotten for engaging your partner in a tirade over something that is incredibly paltry? If you do, you are not looking for a relationship; you are just looking for a reason to fight.
2.) Be Patient
Easier said than done, most especially in the heat of the moment but remind yourself to take a breather, count to three and regard your partner. Remember, this is the person you have fallen in love with and no matter how angry you are, if you truly love them you are going to regret some of the things you might say in the height of your argument. So be patient with your partner and try to be understanding.
3.) Curb your expectations
This does not mean to say that you should not have expectations at all, or to even lower your standards when it comes to what you expect in a relationship. But, in essence, it is imperative that both you and your partner should know what you expect from each other and these expectations should be realistic in a sense that your partner would be able to meet them. Remember, you are in a relationship with a person, not your aspirations and wants.
4.) After it is resolved, leave it in the past where it belongs
That may not be your first fight, but it certainly would not be your last one either. But remember, every time a conflict is resolved, shelve it in the past never to be reopened again. Remind yourselves that the argument is over, the conflict has found a resolution and the both of you have compromised. Once a new conflict arises, do not bring up old conflicts that were long resolved and most especially, never use them as a justification for your relationship gaffe should you make one in the future.
Relationship conflicts may be distressing and difficult, but they offer an open avenue for couples to communicate and compromise as well. Remember, when it comes to relationships, it is imperative that you both learn to fight for each other instead of fighting each other.
Bea Bianca is a twenty something music enthusiast and currently working at Love Radio. She draws inspiration for her writing in listening to romance music, reading books on love and cheesy quotes. She routinely writes romance articles detailing all kinds of romantic relationships.