Attracting men is not difficult even though you might think it is

Attracting a man is as simple as snapping your fingers. Am I just being ridiculous and psycho or am I being serious? You’ll never know. And I don’t want you to know, because it’s the only way to remain mysterious (note: being mysterious is not necessarily attractive to men but I will tell you what is, don’t worry).

In terms of “attracting men” being easy, I’m being dead serious when I say… it’s not hard even though it might seem like it.Attracting men is not difficult even though you might think it is

If you’re anxious, though, you’re not able to laugh at life—and laughing at life is the first step toward being attractive and making men reactive.

 Enough playing around, though.

Stop Doing These Things

I get what it feels like to want to do anything you can—dye your hair, get a spray tan, buy brand new clothes, do a perfect cat eye… the list could go on and on…

But I know what it feels like to be “overly concerned” with being attractive to men.

I would say that my old attitude toward attracting men was ironically doing nothing to help me and if anything hurt me (this article helped turn things around).

Real talk: this is all from my own experiences as well as what I have seen work with many other women. I’m not claiming this works for everyone—but that it certainly works.


 Make him feel like you are genuinely interested in what he has to say—curiosity killed the cat is a saying people like to throw around, but guess what they forget? The second half: curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back.

Be curious about his interests.

Let’s say WWII is his fascination. Love it. Watch war documentaries (or part of one). Specifically watch Saving Private Ryan (it’s an amazing movie, trust me, and I get bored easily). I cried like a baby at the end of Saving Private Ryan. But I digress. The purpose of what I am saying is to illustrate how you can be interested and intrigued by something that you never thought you’d be interested in. Now, some people might say, “wait, isn’t that being fake?”

I get why you would think that but I’m not saying pretend you love WWII. I am saying be open that you either don’t like something (but not in a rude way, in a calm and playful way) or say that you genuinely don’t know much/if anything at all about a topic (again, if this is true!).

Be honest about what you feel; just deliver it in a place where you come from kindness. And allow him to show you why it is interesting. The best part?

Win-Win Situations Work Best

This might sound obvious, but it’s not something I see mentioned about how to attract men—create a win-win situation (more here). Men love to win. But men also love to be able to show you what they are excited about. Men love when a woman genuinely gets into whatever it is (whether it is a video game, Star Wars, football, the psychology of flies, reptiles, war, guns, flying pigs…)

You get the point J

By being genuinely curious, you end up having a positive experience with him. We remember our experiences. He is going to be more attracted to you if you are immersed in the moment rather than thinking about what to say and how to be attractive.

Be Kind

Believe it or not, men are not attracted to mean women. And believe it or not, sometimes men really do just need a warm, sweet woman to hold hands with. Not as often as women need this, but still… please don’t say that comment was “anti-feminist” because I’m a woman and I have the right to say what I want.

So be kind to him, don’t be “too nice” for the sake of being too nice—be a genuinely kind person. Don’t walk around with anger or any kind of inner resentment—let go of this energy. Free yourself from it—and you will find that men are more attracted to you.

By more attracted I mean… they will instinctually feel like you’re a woman they want to be around. You’ll have a “vibe” to you that translates into sexy. It’s true. But kindness alone will not make you into a “seductress.” It will, however, certainly enhance and increase your attractiveness to men.

If you think this way, you are coming from a place where you have ulterior motives. “If I am kind, poof! He’s going to be crawling on his hands and knees to be my husband!”

If a man has any kind of choice or options in his dating life, he will choose the woman who is kind and nice rather than bitchy and mean.

But pretending to be kind to get a certain outcome (making him want you) is mean. 😉

Be your most attractive self (physically)

This is an obvious one and I am sure you know exactly what it means, so I am not going to go into all the fun details about why this is important.

Are there any universals about what men find attractive? Not really but kind of.

Just because I am a makeup addict (sort of) I’m going to leave you with some random makeup tips:


  • Don’t wear too much makeup (by too much I mean glitter eye shadow up to your eyebrows, eyebrow pencil drawn in so harshly you look angry, tons of foundation where you have a literal cake on your face—note—not being rude just trying to make a point)
  • Always exfoliate your lips (you can either buy one or use sugar and olive oil as a scrub).
  • When in doubt, put on some neutral/pink lipstick and clear gloss
  • Natural-ish fake eyelashes always make eyes pop (eyelash curlers are supposedly amazing but I’ve never personally used one) so go for this if you know how to apply them!
  • Basic, black eyeliner never hurt anybody

 General Beauty: Do what genuinely makes you feel comfortable and sexiest because all men like different things!

 And never forget to always laugh at life, let yourself be silly and vibe with the current moment. You only live once, don’t fear the unknown. Let yourself be free and have fun.

Be Spontaneous

Don’t be afraid to laugh at life. Go with the moment.

  • Wear very low pants (yoga pants, sweat pants, leggings) and fold them over, walking around casually but comfortably… that is, if your stomach is toned. If not, don’t do this
  • If you don’t know the man and are in public this is tricky you don’t know if he has a girlfriend—simply drop something and be near him and see if he picks it up if he doesn’t just walk away
  • If you’re already friends, jokingly lay on his lap (note: only if you are comfortable enough with each other) near his “you know what” and see how he reacts
  • Genuinely smile and laugh
  • Don’t be afraid because the worst that can happen is nothing happens and you move on and find someone who’s naturally attracted to you
  • Never be needy, never compare yourself to other women
  • Be comfortable with your own sexuality, love the notion of being turned on and embrace solo-fun this gives off a sexy energy to men; it’s instinct. Logic isn’t involved when it comes to becoming attractive.

 I will leave you on that note.

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