17 Common Pre-Marriage Mistakes And How To Avoid It (1)

Wedding is serious stage in your life, and going into it blindly is not the best idea. The less information you have about marriage, marital relationship and your partner, the more likely you are to face challenges and make a lot of marriage mistakes.  Those who have walked this road before would tell you better. My advice is “Do not try to learn things the hard way. This may leave you with hard to heal emotional wounds and indelible scars.

The majority of women learn about relationship and marriage the hard way. They walk down the aisle and marital life worn out with emotional scars, broken hearts, abuse, confusion, anger and sleepless nights. You can learn about relationships and marriage the hard way, but the majority of women who have tread that path will tell you that it is such a great price to pay and the consequences plus the long time effects are very excruciating! Smart women recognize this undeniable truth. To avoid these marriage mistakes, you must learn from the mistake of others.

marriage mistakes

Even though the search for lasting love can be draining, exasperating, and disheartening; many have successfully found true love, lived or are living happily. You too can be part of the winning side of the game but making smart decisions before entering into marriage is a huge part of this picture. In order to help you make smart and correct decision about the man to walk down the aisles with, we have provided for you 17 mistakes women often make while entering into marriage and things you could do to circumvent them.

1. Assuming that all men are same is a marriage mistake:

It is a fallacy to think that all men are the same. There are two types of men: Dishonorable men and honorable men. You should never date or marry a man till you have discovered which category he belongs. You will always live to thank God if you do. A reputable man would always do reputable things while a disreputable man will always indulge in disreputable things. By their fruits, you will know them. A bad tree would always bear bad fruits while a good tree always bear good fruit. You can’t expect to pick a fruit from among thorns and thistles. Expecting a dishonorable man to do the honorable thing is like expecting piranhas not to devour you if you mistakenly dive into their water.

A dishonorable man will toil with your emotions, use you like a piece of rag and dump you. He won’t care about your person. Neither will he value your womanhood. All he is after is your flesh, your money or security. He only wants to pounce on you like a predator devouring its prey. He doesn’t care about your future or your happiness. There is no amount of good you do to such a man that makes them change. After all, a bad tree would always produce bad fruit. Although he would flatter you are present but at your back, he would plan against you. He would leave you pregnant and drop you off on the streets not caring what you feel, your safety or the safety of the baby in your womb. He would turn you into a punching bag and the amount of abuse you would experience with such a man is enormous.

2. Not knowing that there is a huge difference between sex and love.

 The majority of men know the difference and the faster you learn that truth the better for you. If you fall short of that or care less to understand this glaring truth, you are definitely heading for relationship or marital break down and flame. If you happen to have sex with any man who is not meant to be your husband, a man who has no semblance of love for you but only interested in carnal relation he would deny that he ever know you let alone coming close to you or seeing your underpants. Make no mistake about it. If still do not understand ask any virtuous woman you know or an honorable man.

Remember your soul as a woman is very fragile. Disreputable men care less about this simple truth. They play with your emotions without any love, concern or sympathy. Therefore, you should be on your guard against these cold-hearted men meticulously.

3. Neglecting to ask  basic essential questions regarding your future life together:

You must be ready to ask your partner some crucial questions regarding your relationship and future life. It is very essential to avoid making marriage mistakes. The majority of women who neglect and ignore them eventually found out that they were necessary but then it is already too late. It may feel uncomfortable to ask your partner a group of questions but it is better you do it, because if you intend to spend your entire life with him, you’d better live with somebody you know very well rather than settle down with the superficial.

You don’t have to ask your man all these questions at a go or you would be scaring and sending him away. Instead, take your time and ask the questions as the situation presents itself and endeavor to go through all of them during your courtship before marriage. When you have successfully covered the following questions, you would have gathered enough information to enable you avoid most common mistakes women make.

The following questions are the top basic questions you should ask your husband to be before you take the giant step of getting married.

  • How significant is having children to you; how long do you want to stay before having kids and how many children do you plan to have?
  • How would you feel if you lost your job and I became the primary breadwinner or if I start earning more than you do?
  • Are you happy with your relationship with your mother?
  • What role do you think faith and religion would play in our union?
  • What are your decisive financial goals for our family?
  • Would you be happy to let me work or would you prefer me to be a stay at home mom?
  • What would you require from me to do for you sexually?
  • Would you want to supervise the household budget or would you want me to handle it?
  • Do you have any problem with any member of my family?
  • What are your career aspirations?
  • Do you have any unsettled issues from precedent relationships?
  • What is your greatest fear about marriage?
  • Have you got issue with going to premarital counseling with me?
  • How much personal debt do you have?
  • Do you offer financial support to any member of your family and are you happy to help any of my family members if there is need?
  • What are your aspirations about our life in 10 years to come?
  • What are your blood group and HIV status.

To be continued in article series 2. Follow this link to continue reading the article.

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