Unforgiveness is one issue that affects a lot of people. It is a part of life and cannot be avoided but it all depends on how it is handled and managed by the person involved. One thing you should know is that in marriage there will always be issues and where there are issues, there is bound to be unforgiveness in marriage. I would like to ask a few questions:
- For how long can you stay angry with your spouse?
- To what extent can you allow unforgiveness to remain in your marriage?
- What is that deadly sin or wrong your spouse can commit to make you not forgive him or her?
If you bear a grudge against your spouse and have unforgiveness in your heart, I have a ray of hope that the suggestions in this article would help you out.
How to Deal with Unforgiveness in Marriage:
Speak up:
It is true that there are certain things a spouse can do against the other which can be very painful and when such things happen, it feels like you can never forgive that person. I know very well that a lot of women suffer emotionally in their marriages and refuse to speak up though they harbor unforgiveness in their hearts. One thing you should know is that unforgiveness in marriage can lead to disharmony and even separation so rather than suffer in silence, its best to let out those feelings.
Let go:
You might say, “How can I let go?” “It hurts so much” etc. I agree with you that some actions your spouse would put up might be unbelievable but how long will you remain like that? It is completely normal to get angry and act out because we are all humans with feelings but if your spouse is repentant, I think you should forgive him or her.
Just forgive:
Think about this for one minute. As humans, we offend God our creator all the time. If he can forgive us all our sins then who are you not to forgive your spouse when he or she offends you? I am not saying you should immediately forgive your spouse when they annoy you; they have to know how you feel that is why you should express your anger so they know how you feel. But if you see that your spouse is honestly repentant and regrets his or her actions, then do forgive.
Find out the reason why:
If someone is angry with you, there should be a reason why, right? So this is what you should focus on. If you notice your spouse is acting weird towards you or not speaking to you, you need to find out why. This is because it is only when you know that you can make amends.
Seek for help:
If you’ve done all you can and yet your spouse is unyielding, you can either plan for an intervention or involve family members in order to find out the root cause of his or her unforgiveness towards you. When someone especially your spouse is finding it hard forgiving you, it can be frustrating. I know how it feels when my spouse is angry with me for even the slightest thing. It makes me feel so uneasy so I do all I can to make things right with him so peace can reign and so that I can be happy. Although some men do not like it when you involve a third party into his family issues but if that is the only option you have to save your marriage then please go ahead.
Do you want to have a divorce or be separated from your spouse because of some form of disagreement you both had? I am guessing you would say No! Unforgiveness is not a good thing and it is not healthy for you so do away with that unforgiveness in your marriage so that things can run smoothly in your home.
