Top 3 Tips on How not to Treat a Trans Woman on a Date

All women long to be treated with respect they deserve regardless of how society or the people they date see them. Transwomen are no different compared to cis women when it comes to their romantic expectations.


They want a partner who’s honest, treats them well, loves them for who they are, and occasionally buys them flowers just because. Check out what any trans woman wants you to know if you’re interested in transgender dating.

#1: Don’t Look at her as a Fetish

There is lots of stigma surrounding transwomen in large part because they’re seen as personal unicorns. If you ever findyourself on a date with a trans woman, you should know that the last thing shewants is to be treated as a fetish or some kind of novelty.

Even if things like‘how did you tuck your penis away in that tight skirt’ cross your mind, never for the life of you say them out loud. First of all, not all trans women have the same body parts, and they most definitely all have different personalities, much like cis women.

You’d be offended if every girl you dated automatically assumed you were well endowed and openly showed her disappointment or shock when you failed to meet her expectations, right? Exactly.

Forget stereotypes or making your own assumptions. Go on a date with a girl if you really like her, not so you could ask her all sorts of questions about being trans or treat her as an experiment.

#2: Don’t Assume Sexuality and Gender are the Same Thing

Sexuality and gender are not the same thing no matter how you slice it. Straight guys dating transwomen are no less straight than any guys dating cis women. Also, a straight guy who’s questioning his sexuality should not experiment with a trans woman because he won’t find out anything new about it that he didn’t know before.

Most straight guys out there that go on dates with trans women find out their history much later, and date them because they think they’re hot girls. They’re attracted to trans women because they’re women, so they’re still straight.

Despite the shame that straight guys who fall for trans women face, their sexuality doesn’t change. Just because a guy is dating a trans woman doesn’t mean his sexual preferences should be brought into question.

At the same time, being trans is a matter of gender identity,while sexuality of any given trans person is their own business. A trans woman can be attracted to either men, women or both. Mind you, Caitlyn Jenner identified as asexual when she first came out.

A trans woman dating straight men is no more or less gay than a cis woman doing the same thing. In other words, if you’re dating a trans woman, there is no doubt she’s straight, while there is a small chance that she could be bisexual like any of the other girls you’ve dated before.

#3: Don’t Compliment her on being Trans Saying things like, ‘I never would have guessed you were trans’ is not a compliment!

Being trans doesn’t define anyone. It tells you nothing about what they’re really like or what they’re into, and you shouldn’t assume anything based on this information.

Your trans date knows very well what she’s been through, and even though it’s hard all she wants is to be accepted for who she is. You can appreciate the beauty and courage in her journey, but she’s a woman first, and a trans person second and complimenting her on being trans is pretty much an insult.

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