Before I dive in, I accept that I’m broken. I have a beautiful family; a wife and 3 gorgeous children and yet I cheat all the time. I’ve been married for over 10 years and have been cheating from day 1. And whilst I know I’m never going to win any popularity contests by admitting to this, what has evolved in the last decade is that I’ve mastered the art of cheating. I’ve not only gotten better at finding and picking up some very very beautiful women but I’ve also mastered getting away with it.
If you’re wondering why I cheat when things are so perfect at home, it’s simply because I crave attention. And for all the married men out there, one thing you’ll come to learn is that when you have kids, your wife’s attention shifts to them and less on you. Whilst most married men are mature enough to accept that, it’s something I struggle to deal with. I need that attention from someone, I crave it. And by cheating, during my affairs, for the women I cheat with, I am the centre of their world and that beats any other feeling I could have. It’s euphoric.
Cheating isn’t something I can brag about. I mean think about it, I can hardly tell my friends for fear of it ever getting out. It’s a lonely existence and not bragging about it takes every fibre of my body to keep quiet. Can you just imagine the scenario, I confide in a friend, he secretly tells his wife, she secretly tells her hairdresser and the Chinese whispers continue all the way back to my wife.
The risk ratio is too high. But after years of cheating, years of getting away with it, years of the most wonderful adventures, I needed an outlet.
And so I setup a blog called Cheater’s Handbook. If I’m honest I never thought for a second anyone would read it. However, just 2 articles in a national newspaper contacted me to write for them. Then a month later, and even bigger newspaper approached me to write for them. They kept referring to me as “Hitch For Cheaters”
It was in the buildup to getting published that I was having a lot of correspondence with the Editors and one of them said:
“I’m not sure what I’m more impressed about, the fact that you successfully cheat so often, or the fact that you have a system of getting away with it. Have you ever thought about being some sort of dating coach for men?”
Of course, at the time I hadn’t. I own a few businesses and it never occurred to me to offer that as a service. However, a large part of my blog wasn’t just about telling me how to find women, or which were the best dating sites for affairs – NO! It was more about how to be careful, how to keep a happy home life and never let the 2 worlds get merged. In a lot of ways I was coaching without actually knowing it.
There are websites out there, really well known ones like Ashley Madison that have over 60million users. What does that tell you? It tells us that there’s at least 60million people (men and women), who are either curious, have cheated once or actively cheat regularly. That number to me signifies how much it goes on. And when you look at the rates of separations and divorces today compared to 10-15 years ago, it’s never been higher.
Maybe discreetly cheating is the answer to a happier marriage. I can tell you first hand that for me this has most certainly proven to be the case