Düsseldorf, Germany – In an elegant bar in Düsseldorf, amidst exclusive cocktails and sheer luxury, I meet 25-year-old Jan, a “Sugarboy” who is savoring life to the fullest. Greeted by the handsome education student with a radiant smile, his enchanting charm immediately captivates everyone around. Over the next hour, he tells me about his exhilarating life since he started dating Sugar Daddys.
He tells me that a few years ago, he registered on the dating platform MyGaySugardaddy, a German website catering to homosexual men specializing in Sugar Dating. In this community, Sugarboys like Jan connect with affluent Sugar Daddys, and they all want one thing—or maybe not? Luxury, quality time, and clear agreements. Sugar Dating has opened up a world to Jan that he could hardly have imagined before. Over the last few years, he has enjoyed numerous luxurious vacations, dined at the finest restaurants, and received impressive gifts from various gentlemen.
But what is Sugar Dating, exactly? Sugar Dating differs from traditional relationships and is characterized by clear agreements that fulfill the expectations of both parties. It allows Sugarboys to lead a luxurious lifestyle they couldn’t afford without a Sugar Daddy. In return, Sugar Daddys receive the attention of a younger, attractive companion who can accompany them anywhere.
Sugar Dating in Controversy
Despite its many benefits, Sugar Dating is often sharply criticized. Some critics argue that it amounts to financial exploitation and boils down to sex. But is that really the essence of such a relationship? I ask Jan what he thinks about these prejudices:
“For me, it’s not just about money. I’m young, happy, and free. I get to see the most beautiful places and constantly meet interesting people. I also enjoy having deep conversations with intelligent men who have something in their minds,” he says with a laugh. “It’s not as it appears to most people from the outside.” He adds that intimacy naturally plays a role but that every relationship is unique, and he has had arrangements with men who were only seeking companionship for a business dinner or someone willing to listen.
A Life of Luxury
Jan, originally from Cologne and currently studying in Düsseldorf, leads a life that many can only dream of. “I’m fortunate to be pampered by generous Sugar Daddys,” he says as he sips on his Kir Royale. “It’s a life I never could have imagined. I can easily sustain my lifestyle with it, and the expensive gifts and vacations are an added bonus.” Curiously, I ask if he considers himself wealthy. “Wealth is relative,” Jan replies thoughtfully. “I feel rich in experiences and opportunities. Money is important, but it’s not everything.”
On the MyGaySugardaddy platform, Jan is no stranger. He has been registered for several years and has gotten to know some Sugar Daddys over extended periods. “The platform is the easiest and most reputable for me. I tried other sites back then, but this one was the most user-friendly, and I had the best experiences within the community. Especially since the website relaunched in 2023, sugardating has become an even better experience.”
I’m eager to find out how much Jan earns from this each month. “It can’t be generalized,” he answers with a wink. He explains that it varies from one Sugar Daddy to another, but it’s more than enough to finance his lifestyle and his studies. He has had different arrangements, where some partners would give him a specific amount per meeting, agreed upon in advance. Others have pampered him with expensive outings and luxurious gifts. “Sometimes we would go shopping just for me after a date. Currently, I’m seeing someone who transfers a fixed sum to me, and we meet about ten times a month,” he informs me. Jan doesn’t disclose the exact amount, but he makes it clear that it’s in the four-digit range.
And what do the Sugar Daddys get in return? Jan explains that the reciprocation for the generous gifts and attentions is clearly defined. “Sugar Daddys expect my companionship, entertainment, and attention. They want to feel young and create beautiful memories. It’s a win-win situation. Intimacy plays a greater role for some than others. But I have no issue with that either, as long as it aligns on a personal level,” he adds.
The reactions from his family and friends regarding his unconventional relationships are mixed. “They were skeptical at first,” Jan confesses. “But as they saw how happy I am and how much I enjoy my life, they accepted my choice. They know I’m an adult and can make my own decisions.”
The platform Jan uses is free for Sugar Boys and, according to his account, has opened up a world of luxury and freedom that he wouldn’t want to miss. He defends against accusations that this type of relationship is morally indefensible. “Love and relationships come in various forms,” he says. “As long as both parties are in agreement and feel comfortable, there is no reason for criticism.”
Not Everything in Sugar Dating Is Rosy
Despite it all, Jan understands a certain bias and acknowledges that Sugar Dating, like many other forms of relationships, has its downsides. As I delve further, he explains that he, too, has had negative experiences in Sugar Dating. He tells me he’s encountered everything from disagreements over financial arrangements to emotional challenges: “Especially when emotions come into play or when one side invests more emotions than the other, Sugar Dating can become particularly complicated. Moreover, in online dating in general, you often encounter people with whom you don’t click, and one should always be cautious. Nevertheless, the positive experiences have outweighed the negative ones,” says Jan. What he values the most is the freedom and the opportunity to see the world. He loves meeting new people and visiting exclusive places because it’s exciting and enriching.
I ask him how he got into Sugar Dating in the first place and how he envisions his future as a Sugar Boy. He grins at me. “How it all began? A buddy told me about MyGaySugardaddy, and I’m just an open-minded and curious person. I was twenty-one at the time, and I had never heard of something like this before.”
The 25-year-old is no fool. He knows he can’t sustain this life indefinitely. “That’s why I enjoy it even more. As long as it works for me and brings me joy, I have no intention of stopping,” he replies decisively.
Jan’s story illustrates that life as a Sugarboy can be not only glamorous but also fulfilling.