The cat’s out of the bag. That sinking feeling you’ve had in your chest for some time turned out to be true: your partner’s cheated on you.
These thoughts keep replaying in your head over and over again and you’re wondering if there’s a way of salvaging your relationship.
Maybe you’re the culprit in that situation, seeking to make amends after betraying the trust of your significant other.
Either way, staying together after infidelity is a tall order. According to this study conducted on 441 participants, only 15.6% of couples managed to stay together after the indiscretion was discovered.
As the figure shows, it’s difficult, but not impossible. By taking the right steps, your relationship just might still work after cheating.
This article will provide you with 7 essential tips for repairing your relationship. So don’t despair yet and read on.
- Stop the Affair
Duh! This one should go without saying but it’s so essential that it deserves emphasis.
There’s no way around it, the affair has to stop right away. If your partner won’t take this basic step, then they simply don’t want to save the relationship. In this case, it’s time to move on from it.
Stopping the affair means ceasing contact with the person they cheated with. So make sure they delete their phone number, social media contacts, and are not communicating through other means.
If they both work at the same place, then it might be time for a change. Your partner should get transferred to another department. Worst case scenario, they might have to relocate or find a new job.
But they created this situation with their infidelity, so they should do what they can to fix it.
- Sincerely Make Amends
Does your partner feel genuinely sorry for cheating? Or are they just saying what you want to hear?
The answer to these questions is the difference between mending your relationship or needlessly prolonging its death throes.
If your partner shows no remorse for their behavior, it means they don’t have empathy for you.
You can be sure they’ll do it again because they don’t think about the hurt they cause and don’t care about your feelings.
So they have to issue a sincere apology to you and make you understand that they are aware of the consequences of their actions.
They have to acknowledge that they hurt you and your relationship by acting irresponsibly. Then they should prove to you that they are willing to change their ways immediately.
- Be Completely Open About the Affair
This part is going to be very difficult. It’s no fun hearing about how you’ve been betrayed in such an intimate way.
But it’s an important step in getting over the infidelity. Now that the affair’s out in the open, it’s time to talk about it in a real way. No more lying or evading questions.
Ask anything you’re wondering about. How did it start? How many times did it happen?
It’s also important to address the why at this stage. If they felt the need to cheat, there’s a good chance there were already issues in the relationship. Now’s the time to solve them.
The cheating partner should spare no details as long as you ask about them. Again, honesty is key here.
If they keep lying, the relationship simply won’t be fixed.
- Total Transparency
Being cheated on will make you insecure. It’s just part of being lied to by someone we care about deeply.
To help with that insecurity, you can ask for access to your partner’s phone and social media accounts.
You can ask about their whereabouts at any time and they should answer you. You’re entitled to know who they’re spending time with.
Yes, it’s not ideal and a little demeaning for your partner, but they broke your trust. If they won’t go the extra mile to make you feel secure, it’ll make it harder to trust them again.
It should stay that way until enough damage has been repaired that you feel you can count on them again.
If they’re not playing along, you can always Bust A Cheater.
- Start Anew
There’s a before and after cheating.
Staying together after an affair is like starting a new relationship altogether. Let the old relationship die and rise out of its ashes.
Obviously, you’re still dealing with the aftermath of discovering the betrayal of your partner. It takes time to trust again.
But you shouldn’t dwell on the past endlessly. If you’re just gonna be miserable all the time, what’s the point of even trying to continue the relationship?
You still want to be with your partner because obviously they have qualities.
It’s time to rediscover everything that was good about them. And why not make it something new and unique?
Reinvent your relationship, don’t just focus on the bad.
- Share Your Feelings
With a situation like cheating, you’re going to have lots of complex emotions.
It’ll make it easier to process them if you can share them with your partner. Be very honest and don’t hesitate to communicate what bothers you.
You’re trying to move forward so you don’t want to repeat past mistakes. They might have cheated because they felt something was missing from the relationship.
But with good communication, solving problems becomes much easier.
People hold onto their thoughts and feelings for fear of creating a conflict. So instead, they act out and cause damage.
If you communicate your needs clearly, then you can figure things out with your partner.
- Professional Counseling
You might still feel as if you’re struggling, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.
You’re dealing with a difficult situation, so there’s no shame in seeking help from a professional.
A licensed therapist is a neutral third party that can help you see things in a new light.
They are familiar with difficulty in relationships and know how to sort through them. Going somewhere new to discuss your relationship can also bring you more clarity.
- Staying Together After Infidelity Isn’t Easy
Staying together after infidelity is probably one of the hardest things a couple can go through.
A lot of couples don’t make it, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t. However, moving forward in your relationship after being cheated on is going to require time and mutual honesty to work.
There’s no guarantee that you’ll stay together, but applying these 7 tips is a good start for repairing your relationship