46% of respondents say they’re engaging in more sexual experimentation, according to one study on post-pandemic sex. When looking to take the leap and try something new in the bedroom, the world of sex toys can seem extremely daunting, especially when considering the vast array of different types that are out there.
Whether you’re looking to invest in a toy for the first time for self-exploration purposes, or you’re simply looking for a tasteful way to spice up your sex life with a partner, here’s a brief overview on how to get started.
The science (and benefits) behind sex toys
While many may be hesitant to introduce sex toys in the bedroom, it’s important to take into account the range of benefits involved. According to a study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, using a sex toy can increase intimacy among partners, with the study further suggesting that using a sex toy can reduce anxiety and help you communicate better with your partner.
The Health Shots article further goes on to underline the value of using sex toys, noting that they can help in de-stressing (thanks to releasing the feel-good hormones known as endorphins). Sex toys can also help in evoking your libido, as well as play a role in spicing up your sex life. When used for masturbation, sex toys can be great for experimentation, thus allowing you to get to know your body and what you like in bed, and can even help in boosting body confidence.
How to break the ice
If you plan on introducing the use of sex toys with a partner, bringing up the conversation can seem rather daunting. Breaking the ice, however, doesn’t have to be difficult — when introducing something new, Dr. Jess O’Reilly, sexologist and host of the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast, suggests beginning with the positive side of the matter, making an offer or asking a question before making your request.
The Hello Giggles article outlines a few examples of this, from asking something as simple as “Have you ever thought about trying a toy?” to stating “I’d love to try ____ with you.” Dr. Jess explains that framing your desires as requests (as opposed to complaints/criticism), then a partner will be more receptive to the matter. When looking to actually pick out the right sex toy, however, Dr. Jess goes on to suggest considering the types of sex that you already enjoy, which can help in making such a daunting endeavor more simple.
Exploring a range of options
When looking to introduce sex toys into the bedroom, there are no shortage of options to choose from. Whether you want something that will work with a partner or something that is purely for your own self-exploration (or both), understanding the basic types of sex toys can help in determining which type will be best for you. Standard dildos, for example, can be great for stimulating the G-spot and A-spot (in those with a vulva), and can stimulate the P-spot for those with penises (so long as the toy has a flare), according to Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy boutique Babeland.
While standard dildos can be used alone, they can also be attached to a harness, while textured, double-ended, and ‘strapless strap-ons’ offer more versatility. Nonvibrating wands, which are typically made of stainless steel or even glass, offer another sex toy option, and can even be used warm or cold for added pleasure. On the other hand, vibrators can offer an entirely different sensation.
Healthline goes on to highlight a variety of different types of external vibrators, from the compact bullet vibrator to vibrators that are designed to be clipped into panties for hands-free stimulation. For those who are new to sex toys, vibrating cock rings are another option to consider, as they can provide external clitoral stimulation in a simple way during intercourse.
For those who prefer both internal and external stimulation, however, dual-stimulation toys are another option worth exploring. Typically found via the popular “rabbit-vibrators” (which work simultaneously to provide both vaginal and clitoral pleasure), there are more innovative options out there, too.
The snail vibe, for instance, features a unique design that works to provide external and internal pleasure while combining the vibrating power of a wand and the insertion depth of a dildo. With over 300 modes (thanks to all of the different speed, patterns, and intensities), the snail vibe allows for ultimate customization — not to mention an IP67 waterproof body and a USB rechargeable Li-ion battery.
Introducing sex toys into the bedroom — whether for your own self-exploration or to spice up your sex life with a partner — can bring a variety of benefits to the table. By bringing up the matter in a positive way to break the ice, there are no shortage of options when it comes to choosing a toy, thus allowing you to try out and choose the perfect one for you.