Everyone is talking about relationship red flags, but when is it time to discuss the green flags? Green flags are acceptable and desirable behavior you want to see in a perfect relationship?
Although an ideal connection is a myth, there might be things you should look out for in a healthy relationship. These are the sounds of the communication going right:
1. Sometimes you have arguments
The most unexpected thing to hear is that arguments are normal in healthy communications because both members are mature enough not to hold back their emotions. It is difficult to tell where family banter turns into real drama but expressing your dissatisfaction with hot ladies online found in your partner’s friend list is normal. Healthy couples always communicate their claims and never bottle negative emotions only to drown the partner in anxiety later.
2. You don’t get triggered by their presence
Sometimes couples are afraid to talk on the phone in front of their significant other, hoping that their friend doesn’t say anything sketchy on FaceTime. In healthy couples, there is nothing your partner shouldn’t hear because they are the first person you express anger regarding the relationship. In other words, you have no urge to talk behind their back because you feel safe criticizing them and bringing up major problems.
3. You don’t yell at each other
Turning up the volume is not the way to speak in a connection where both parties respect each other. Calling names is also not a part of a healthy communication process. But if you and your partner manage to resolve major conflicts without raising the tone, the connection is going in the right direction.
4. You listen attentively
Dialogue is an equal exchange between two people, especially when it comes to the relationship. If you feel a constant imbalance of information in a connection, it might be a sign of an unhealthy dynamic. On the contrary, if both parties are equally interested in each other’s hobbies, likes and dislikes, fears and desires, things they are looking into, and deeds they are actively trying to avoid, the communication has value.
5. You still respect each other even after a bad argument
Healthy communication means respect for the other party even if things got sour. In an unpleasant situation, you still have to remain calm and collected and realize that one miscommunication isn’t worth ruining the whole connection.
6. You use “I-messages”
An “I-message” is a strategy that involves expressing your concerns without blaming the other party. For example, it’s more reasonable to say, “I feel sad because you didn’t pick me up today, could you please work it through?” instead of “You always fail to pick me up after work and I look ridiculous having the worst walk of shame in front of my coworkers!”
Expressing your concern with a blaming tone doesn’t do justice for a relationship because all it creates is more anxiety and guilt. Couples that express their feelings instead of guilt-tripping stay together longer.