It starts off just fine but as the years go by your husband starts to become white noise. Do you start to feel that your husband does not seriously take everything that you do and what you have to say? If this creeps up into your relationship then tension starts to mount and symptoms of anxiety get in the way. You start to feel a lot of stress and before you know it you feel less happy and seriously considering filing for divorce. Before everything turns out for the worse, it is best to address the root cause first and get your husband listening like the way he used to.
Have you ever stopped and listened how you are telling things to your husband? Try to listen to yourself from the point of view of your husband and see if it works for you. Sometimes the approach ruins the moment and deals a telling blow that otherwise make your husband pay attention at the things you have to say. Do you sound whiny? Most men would drop the conversation at the first hint of whining. So take a step back and listen to your voice if it sounds whiny and it could be reason why your husband is not listening to you. Having a forceful voice and beating around the bush are enough discouragement that can lead men to drop you and quit listening.
Timing is everything in the listening game. Most people are particularly attentive early in the morning. Have you ever thought that your timing could be ruining your chances of getting through your husband? Consider a lot of factors when you are conversing with your husband. Is he watching Sports Center? Is he answering emails on his tablet? Figure out the best time to get him to listen and you would have better chances of getting through him.
When your husband is under stress it is less likely he would become a fan of listeningto what you have to say. But you can turn that small obstacle to work for you by giving your husband a nice massage or aromatherapy to help him relax. If you try to talk to your husband while he feels too much stress it would only turn into a disaster, so try to be level headed and turn the tide in your favor. If he worries about anything else, try to contain that issue first before you can push your agenda forward.
A husband that is smothered often would have less interest in listening to what you have to say. This is why if he is busy doing stuff in the garage it is best you leave him alone. But it doesn’t mean that you should stay far, far away. Try to tell your husband that you are within an earshot by bringing him something to drink and try to engage in light conversation. Just keep the talk light and non-intrusive. Ask him what he wants for lunch or dinner or simply ask him if he needs something. More often he would return the favor and show some attention to you.
The marital bed is a time of celebrating the love that you have for each other. It is definitely not the place to tell him what you have to say. The bed is a place to relax and to disturb the flow may not sit well with your husband.
Keep in mind when you are talking about some issues, even if the husband needs to listen, always own the issue. Discuss issues in a neutral and quiet environment and the ambience should be comfortable to both of you. Start owning the issue with feelings.
When you are trying to make your husband listen to you don’t force him. Instead, ask for suggestions from your husband to get him to listen. Impress upon him that listening to what you have to say is necessary not only in conflict resolutions but in keeping the relationship strong as well.