Divorce is a painful process, regardless of how amicable, straightforward, or necessary it is. Emotions run high and friendly relations can turn sour quickly. But there are things that you can do to make the whole process as painless as possible, allowing both sides to move on with their lives. For your mental health and those around you, think about the ways you can move through this process as smoothly as you can.
Don’t Be Ruled By Emotion
It may take a superhuman effort to achieve but try to keep emotion out of communications with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. Keeping it cool and business-like will keep tempers cool, and arguments less likely to occur. If you feel like you’re getting drawn into a pointless argument, step back and calm down; return the discussion later. And as much it may pain you, pick your battles wisely – is there any point fighting over a particular item you’re not that attached to?
Get A Good Lawyer
Hiring a reputable divorce lawyer is money well spent to end a marriage with as little fuss as possible. Irwin Law Firm will hold your hand every step of the way, submitting paperwork when needed and negotiating with your spouse’s representatives. There are many issues to be dealt with, especially when there are children and assets to consider. Your lawyer can facilitate mediation so you can attempt to settle matters between you; failing that, they’ll do the heavy work in court.
Keep The Kids Out Of It
As tempting as it may be to use your children as go-betweens between you and their other parent, don’t. They’re dealing with a lot already and need your love and support to come through it. Similarly, whatever your feelings for your ex, don’t dump that on the kids; they still love them and deserve to have that relationship on their terms. Ultimately as parents, you need to model how to act like adults to your children, and learning to co-parent is a part of this.
Have A Support Network
Moving on from a failed marriage is hard, and you shouldn’t go through it alone. Turn to friends and family for emotional support and advice. If you’re uncomfortable talking about it with friends, find a support group to join so that you can be around others going through the same thing. Connecting with old friends and making new friends will help you through not just the actual divorce but the aftermath as well.
Moving on without the person you’d planned your life out with may feel insurmountable at first, but by making plans, you’ll begin to move on. Start small, decorate your home to your taste, take the kids out for a fun day, take up a new hobby. As you grow in confidence, make bigger or longer-term plans. Feeling comfortable in your new life will make the divorce easier to deal with.
Divorce is never going to be easy, but there are various things you can do to ease the pain so that you come out in a strong position.