The 9 Rules of Sex Chatting: How to Behave Properly in a Chatroom

When people think of chat rooms, they immediately think of the sleazy chatrooms of the early 2000s where random guys who couldn’t spell properly kept hitting you with questions about your ASL.

sex chatrooms

Those things are best left in the faraway past.

Chatrooms today have evolved to accommodate more people who are interested in having genuine conversations with anonymous strangers looking for a friend—sleazy or not—on the Internet.

If you’ve never entered a chatroom since the first few years you got your first modem, you’d be surprised to find out that a lot of them are very different now.

Sure, you’re likely to stumble upon chatrooms where people think they have a free pass to your nude pics. But most chatrooms actually require people to be decent to others.

Even adult platforms that let you send salacious messages to strangers on the Internet have their own rules in place.

That’s right. The best chatrooms have rules. And if you want to play around in one, you need to know what these rules are and follow them.

Why Chatrooms Have Rules

If you think you can do whatever you please in an online chatroom, you’re mistaken. Yes, there are fewer restrictions here and most people won’t judge you for getting aroused when you fantasize about something as banal to other people as getting your hair shampooed.

But that doesn’t mean you can (virtually, of course) grab anybody by the back of his shirt and head off to a dark corner to give him head. No, that’s not how it works. Even the wild, wild West has its own rules too.

And that’s so you can help maintain some semblance of structure and safety in the chatroom. Nobody wants to be part of a chatroom where anybody, including the trolls, frauds, and real-life rapists, can do anything as they please.  

How to Behave in a Sex Chatroom

So, before you visit your first online chatroom—or your first since the days of IRC and AOL—you had better familiarize yourself with the code of conduct that anyone who joins is expected to follow.

1.  Ignorance of the rules doesn’t excuse you from breaking them.

The first rule of joining chatrooms is to find out what the rules are and stick to them.

The second rule of joining chatrooms is to find out what the rules are and stick to them.

Any reputable chat platform will have a clear set of rules that lay out the black and white. Break them and they kick you out. It’s as simple as that.  

2. You must be 18 years old or older.

Look, nobody’s going to be responsible for your own safety and security except yourself.

Children below 18 years old are banned from chatrooms for one reason. Even the most safety-conscious platforms will not be able to keep you safe from unscrupulous people looking to take advantage of you.

If you’re 17 years old and below and you really, really, really want to join a chatroom, wait for your n18th birthday. Until then, stay away from online strangers until you’re old enough to handle them.

3.  Respect the anonymity.

People love joining chatrooms because they can be themselves without the risk of being found out.

In real life, Lumpy Sweater Lettie may not look or sound as bodacious as she seems inside the chatroom. She likes her online identity as Red Silk Dress Rosalie and would appreciate it if you didn’t go around telling everyone she’s not a Rosalie in real life.  

4.  Follow “The Bar Rule”.

Visiting a bar in a different town hundreds of miles away from home, you’d probably have no qualms showing up with a little more extra cleavage than you’re used to and offering to buy a cute guy a drink.

But there are still a few things you’d rather not do—even in a bar full of people looking for someone to go home with tonight.

For instance, you don’t want to barge into a conversation and turn it toward a different direction. You don’t want to be showing strangers pictures of your mom and dad. Hell, no. And you don’t want to be throwing a drink (or a burn below the belt) in someone’s face.

So there’s no reason why you should do all those things inside a chatroom too.

5.  Stop talking about things that piss people off.

There are a lot of conversation topics that just rub people off the wrong way.

An obvious example is politics. Nobody comes out talking about politics with anybody feeling good about life. They either come out offended that other people don’t share their political views or they come out offended that too few people share their political views. Throw in religion in there, too, and rising gas prices.

People don’t go to a sex chatroom to talk about these things, unless, of course, they have a fetish for corrupt politicians in their single-breasted suits or nuns in habits that cover everything except for the face.  

6.  Respect people’s boundaries.

There’s a lot of sex talk that goes on inside adult chatrooms. People are free to do as they please as long as 1.) it’s not against the rules, and 2.) it’s not a breach of other people’s boundaries.

Even when you’re chatting about sex, there’s still a lot of things that are acceptable to others but aren’t for some.

Some people prefer straight-up vanilla sex, and that’s okay. They may not be used to the same kinky stuff as you—you naughty girl!—so if you’re planning on dishing out some virtual whips and chains, you have to run it by them first. If they agree, proceed. If they don’t, you have to be okay with that.

7.  Do. No. Ever. Promote your business.

This is not the place for that.

The only exception is if you’re a cam model and you’ve been chatting with some people who have clearly shown interest in what you do. In that case, it’s okay to send them links to your camming profile and that’s it.

Otherwise, it’s best to not talk about business and money matters in the chatroom.

8.  Do not troll.

Does it even need to be said? Nobody likes a troll. Trolls don’t contribute anything to the table.

If you want people to pay more attention to you, trolling them won’t get you what you want. In fact, people on the Internet are smart. They know the only way to shut down a troll is to ignore them.

9.  Treat everyone well.

First of all, racist, sexist, xenophobic messages and all kinds of bullying and hate speech are prohibited in chatrooms.

For sure, you’re going to encounter a lot of dirty talk in these chatrooms. That’s expected, especially if you’re joining the sex chats. But calling someone a slut because she wants to be called one isn’t the same as throwing out racial or other kinds of unacceptable slurs.   


Even the most chaotic places on Earth have their own set of rules, written or not. It only makes sense for sex chatrooms to have rules as well. If you want to enjoy your time in a sex chatroom, always get to know the rules and stick to them.

About The Author

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top