The Impact of the Complex Psychology Behind Men’s Attraction to Smart Women
Ask men nowadays what they find sexy or really attractive in a woman, and many of them will state, right off the bat, intelligence. This is true, and it’s backed by six scientific studies which revealed that male participants in the tests showed greater attraction to women who displayed more intelligence than themselves.
Yay for all the female valedictorians and summa cum laudes!
But hold up—the same group of studies also revealed that as high as the attraction may be, in actual situations wherein the male lot were given the chance to make a move, they displayed lower inclination or interest in the women who outsmarted them.
So what is it about this obviously complex brand of sexual attraction with intelligence as a dominant variable in the equation? It really is simple. Men place smart and successful women on a pedestal and admire them from afar, but they hold the intellectually average lot in their arms.
That is the frequent case, it seems; for example, in the film “My Best Friend’s Wedding,” college dropout (but gorgeous and rich) Kimmy (Cameron Diaz’s character) uttered something with a very similar sentiment to Jools (Julia Roberts’ character), the much respected and feared food critic: He’s got you on a pedestal, and me in his arms.
This weird psychology behind the attraction of men to smart women has variables like intimidation and inconvenience in the mix (smart women are described as a full martini glass held in a crowded club—quite tricky to control to avoid spillage). It describes these two lower tendencies in men to physically gravitate toward those who challenge the idea of dominance or superiority that society and culture cultivated them to believe.
Smart women, it appears, are the wrecking ball to the glass house masculinity of men. What a sad reality for women who, in the words of Queen B, Beyoncé, “run the world.” So, what can be done about this? Where do women go from here? Do they just accept that it’s lonely being on top?
Well, men are changing—rather slowly, but they are. So while the vast majority can’t move past the archaic structure of a romantic relationship just yet, there are already those who do not only respect women of great substance, but also actually want them in their lives.
Therefore, don’t be too disheartened; life works in mysterious ways. You may find a complete equal who will appreciate someone who is constantly on the same intellectual pace as he is, or a highly evolved man who truly doesn’t care if his partner is more successful. Continue being the awesome, brainy you because the universal fact is that the best opportunities in life always await the knowledgeable.
About the author
Clinton is a relationship counsellor and psychotherapist with over a decade of experience working with individuals and couples with relationship issues. Clinton Power + Associates provides high-quality relationship counselling in Sydney, Australia. Clinton is regularly featured in the media on the topic of relationships and has been interviewed by MSN.com, The Sun-Herald, Cosmopolitan, News.com.au, Essential Baby, ABC 702, SBS Radio and Men’s Health. Follow him on Twitter or Facebook.