How To Save Your Marriage
Every year only in America alone, nearly 1 million marriages end in divorce, this is an unbelievable number and it could be as if the citizens of Houston Texas were divorced. The question that arises is how many of those marriages could be saved? If your marriage is in contact, it wouldn’t be in the statistics of unsaved marriage. As Marian Wright Edelman wrote, statistics are stories with the tears washed off.
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Before getting to know how to save your marriage, I will like to ask you first, can your marriage be saved? I know it can but everything is in your hand only if you take action. I would be a wealthy man if I just tell everyone do this and that right and magically their marriage saved.
I will tell you that if your marriage is in trouble and you do nothing, the result will lead to divorce which is guaranteed. If you do something, there is a much better opportunity that your marriage will be saved.
Now, how to save your marriage let me tell you in just 4 simple ways or steps you need to follow to save your marriage. Please note the statement I made just now, I said simple ways but not easy ways, saving ones marriage is not going to be easy ride, you will need to invest your time and effort and that make it not easy but it can be simple. Hope you get that right! They do, however, give you a route that you must follow if you desire to change the destiny of a marriage in heading into or is in trouble. [Read; 7 Things That Can Destroy Your Marriage]
How To Save Your Marriage; Four Simple Steps To Follow
How to save your marriage step #1; Quit the blame game, Simple!
To save your marriage, you need to stop blaming neither yourself nor your partner. This is the first step because marriages get frozen into a pattern of blame that brings to a halt any outlook of progress. Instead, the momentum gets dragged down, down and down.
As you will agree with me, blame is our way of avoiding seeing ourselves in the right perspectives. It’s easy to point an accusing finger somewhere and say they are responsible for the problem. But in marriage, you can just as easily turn that pointing finger to nobody if you really want to save the situation or rather point it to yourself and say it’s your fault.
Blaming yourself may feel good in the short time, but on the long run, it prevents any shift or change. So, even if you put down list that show or indicate why your spouse or you yourself should be blamed, forget it, it won’t work. Even if that list is factual, it will not help you put your marriage back together. Blame is the fuel of divorces.
How to save your marriage step #2; Take responsibility.
I want you to first understand that taking responsibility is the not the same thing as taking blame, you must first get that clear first and foremost. Decide you can do something. Change always begins with one person who wants to see a change and the other person will have no choice than to join in the progressive change that will be important to both parties.
When you take responsibility, you’ve decided to do something differently to help salvage your marriage, this will mean, you will give not regard for who is to be blame in your marriage woe.
What surprise me when couple are going through counseling is that everyone knows what they should be doing or not doing to help save their marriage. But it is difficult to move in that direction. Don’t be caught in that. Decide that you will take action, don’t just know what to do, but take action.
Let me make it very clear for you once again, the difference between take blame and take responsibility; this is the analogy, if I am in a burning building, I can stand around trying to figure out who started the blaze, why it has spread so quickly, and who I am going to sue when it is over (blame), or I can get myself and anyone else I can out of that building (taking responsibility). When a marriage is in trouble, the house is on fire. How will you take action to save the marriage? You take responsibility but not blame, right!
How to save your marriage step #3; Get resources from experts.
If others have been helped, you too can be helped. Experts with a great deal more perspective and experience can be a real help in these situations. It is advisable for you to do your research then, remove the useless from the useful and take advantage of the useful resources.
Never you think of it that your situation is a different one from every other person, the story maybe different, but I can tell you that the dynamics are the same thing.
Albert Einstein once said, “The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.” In other words, what got you into trouble will not get you out of trouble. That requires a whole new level of thinking. And that is what you get from an outside expert, someone with a fresh perspective.
How to save your marriage step #4; Take action.
You cannot begin to figure out things on how to save your marriage and at the end of the day you fail to take action, even though you may figure out the best way to go, but if you fail to take action, you’re heading nowhere. More damage is done by doing nothing by taking a misstep. It is too easy to get paralyzed by the situation. Therapists often talk about “analysis paralysis.” This occurs when people get so caught up in their churning thoughts and attempts to “figure things out” that they never take action. It is not enough to simply understand what is causing the problem. You must then act!
Will your marriage be saved? If you follow my suggestions, you have infinitely more prospect for saving your marriage than if you do nothing. Marriage is one of those places where it takes two to make it work, but only one to really mess things up. You can only do your part, but many times, that is enough. Resolve not to ask the question but to begin to act.
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