How High Expectation Cause Problem In Our Relationship
High expectation is good when set up in the proper way in anything in life but often time not in relationship. You may be surprised why high expectation is a good thing in other area of life but not in relationship.
When we set high expectation in other area of our life and when it becomes unrealistic, we may not feel so much pain about it but that can’t happen in our relationship. When the expectation is becoming unrealistic, it is often time difficult to cope with the emotional instability that follow expectation that were not met in our relationship.
In other to understand why high expectation cause trouble in our relationship, let me illustrate it with two scenario having the same people involve (maybe differences in their names) but with one, having set high expectation and the other not placing much expectation on the required outcome.
#1. Anne and Nick are expected to meet at joint near a popular plaza within the town, the arranged time is 1pm but after about 10 minutes after one (1:10pm), Nick has not arrived at the join when Anne was already there even before the agreed time. And Nick called Anne to apologize and that he can’t make it to the joint because of an emergency that comes up and he has to settle everything to prevent further troubles.
Anne understands that sometimes, plan may change even at eleventh hour, and there’s nothing anybody can do about it when it does happen. Anne thanked Nick for letting her know about the change in plan and she has not spent more 10 minutes before the awareness, then Anne used the opportunity and the serenity of the environment at the joint to finish reading the practical approach to life’s book she has wanted to read.
#2. Anne and Rich planned to meet by 1pm at the same joint as above but after 10 minutes after one O’clock, Rich has not arrived but called Anne to let her know of what comes up on his way coming to meet her and because of the emergency nature of what comes up, he can’t make it to the joint where both of them will meet.
Anne couldn’t take the excuse and she started blaming Rich for not being considerate of her time, that Rich has wasted her time allowing her to leave her home, left some other works she could have done and get satisfied rather than wasting her time and money and at the end of it they can’t even meet. The conversation end negatively and Anne was not really happing with what has just happened to her.
Why did Anne get annoyed in the second scenario when both scenarios look identical?
The reason is because, in the second scenario, Anne has placed too much expectation on Rich to meet all her unrealistic goal. She has made Rich too special than any other part of her relationship which some time irrational, though common in relationship.
Every time things like scenario #2 happen in your relationship, you’re bound to have emotional instability and if not well-controlled, it will continue to bring in problem into your relationship and that might led to both of you going separate ways.
No one is so special than you are except you allow someone to be too special than you are. We are all created equally, it is us who give out that power to someone else and when that happens, we will continue to get upset even with little disappointment in the relationship.
When you’re attached to expectation, you’ll always get disappointed. You need to be opened to endless possibilities in life and understand that unexpected do happen which sometimes change the initial plan you have for something. [Read; Transforming your love into everlasting fondness for your beloved]
It will do you a whole lot of benefit if you start to focus on how you can become a better lover than focusing on expectation and the shortcoming of your partner.
From now on, take more responsibility for yourself and free yourself from all expectations and attachments of what your love should look like. Love is all about giving and receiving unconditional.
