Relationship 101: How To Lovingly Criticize People
When you first read the title, you may have done a double take. Lovingly and criticize in one sentence? Can this be possible? How can you tell someone the wrong things they are doing and still stay loving?
These are just some of the common conceptions you will have to deal with when you wish to express your frustrations to a partner, a friend, a sibling or a colleague. As a result, you end up bottling these concerns to avoid offending someone. Sadly, these bottled up feelings will ultimately lead to resentment which will hurt your relationship even more in the long run.
Once you have felt something wrong, it is always best that you tell it your partner, friend, sibling or colleague right away. Bottling it up will only cause you to blurt out the criticism in anger once he or she does the smallest things. Here are some ways on how you can lovingly address your other people’s mistakes without actually offending them (yes, that’s possible).
It is best that you deal with issues up front and on a timely manner. If they have done something wrong, do not wait for it to pile up to you. Confront them the second they make a mistake to avoid feelings from bottling up.
If you have been hurt by your partner, don’t throw out past hurts on him. Instead, stick to the present issue. What is it that he has done this time? You cannot bring up something he did one year ago just because of the bad thing he did a few minutes ago. Be clear with the message you are sending. Tell what has offended you in detail, how this had an impact on you and the conclusions you have gotten from the whole ordeal.
Focus on the solutions
After telling the things that bother you, it is best that you offer a solution to that problem. Focus on the solution instead of dwelling in the mistake. This is a lot easier said than done, believe me. However, nothing is impossible when you do this with intent and you practice this. Never be sarcastic; always keep high regard of respect for one another. [Also read; 5 ways to control your anger in relationship]
When talking to someone, much more when addressing their mistake, it is best that you always watch your tone. Invest some time into thinking how you should say what you have to say in a manner that it will be heard by your partner. Never forget to highlight their strengths and also, own up to whatever participation you have on the problem.
Of course, you have let out everything you have to say. It’s about time you listen to your partner. Provide them the same courtesy that you wish to get from them.
When you lovingly give out your criticism, there is no need for the both of you to go through cold war just to get your message across.
Sarah del Rosario is a blogger from Bait Ex Back, a blog created to you get your ex back.