When a female friend asked me a couple of days ago about the realistic expectations men should have when in a relationship, my brain went blank for several moments. I just kept starring at her for several moments.
She thought I was thinking about reasonable answers to what for her was an existential question; the kind of question that is at par with, ‘What is man’s purpose on earth?‘
And it wasn’t that a question about the realistic expectations men should have is a difficult question at all. I was just smitten speechless because I thought the answers were very obvious.
I thought everybody knew us men are very simple creatures with very simple desires. We just want to eat, be intimate with our partners and go out to look for money. In no particular order.
If somebody else was watching us, they would have had the wrong idea about how I was staring intently at her without saying a word. They’d think I was thinking how to ask her something difficult; a kiss perhaps. You got to give it to her; she is a very lovely lady.
I wished she were my girlfriend. The things I’d do to her would stop her having the time to think things like, ‘realistic expectations men should have of their girls.‘
I wondered what her oaf of a boyfriend did to make her shock me with that question. I hope the jerk was having a miserable time while I was staring blankly at his girl; making me look like a fool.
Okay, for the sake of those girls who don’t know, and for the sake of guys who have to educate some girls, these are the realistic expectations men should have in a relationship.
Like I said before, we are creatures of simple desires:
Remain the girl you were
Unfortunately, for some reason, this simple expectation is as hard as getting water out of a rock unless you are a biblical character with a magical stick to wave around.
What is hard about wanting our women to remain the same as the first time we met? Why change the things that made us fall in love with you in the first place?
Women change a lot when they get into a relationship. We expect them not to put on too much weight. To remain physically attractive for as long as possible. To keep grooming themselves with care and dedication.
Basically, just keep doing the things they did that floored us in the first place. Is that unrealistic?
You need to put out as often as possible
You know how they say men think too much of sex. That is a blatant lie. Yes we think of it. But we spend most of our time thinking about how to make money and be better than our rivals.
All that activity drains the mojo out of us. To get our inspiration back for the next battle, we need to be inspired. What better way is there than a good romp in the hay? Come on, we need to feel to wanted, special, relevant. It is a serious war zone out there.
Is about 30 minutes (some men don’t even need that much time) of your time not a realistic expectation to have?
You can make plans too
This might sound strange to girls who are dating a so called alpha male. The ‘head nigger in charge’ kind of guy who seems to know all the answers.
Fact is, even dudes like that appreciate it if the girls in their lives can get their butts off the sofa and do some real thinking instead of watching some silly soap opera just waiting on the man to do everything.
Women could really do things like plan the next dinner date; put their pretty heads into how to cut down expenses; and even scour around for better jobs than the crappy one the man is doing at the moment.
To put it another way, men expect the woman to use her head and sometimes behave as if she is the man in the relationship. Not always, but often enough to make a difference.
Learn to foot the bills sometimes
While you are taking charge and making plans for your man, take it a bit further by paying for stuffs you bought with your own money.
Sometimes, the gesture of making an effort to pay with your own money goes a long way with the man.
We never forget things like that.
Unfortunately, many women leave all expenses to the man even if they have a decent income from their job. I know dudes who puzzle no end what women do with their own money.
It is in the realm of ‘realistic’ if the woman can pay for dates from time to time; go to the mall to buy provisions for the home with her own money and even buy a game console for us if they can afford it. It is all about the gestures.
So, are these not realistic expectations men should have in a relationship? I know some fellas who’d say so many realistic expectations men should have were left out from my list.
If you think there should be more, tell us about them in the comment section. On the other hand, if you don’t agree with my simple list, tell us why too.