How To Prevent Disagreement That Will Cause Harm To Your Relationship
In all relationship, there’s bound to be disagreement, in fact, disagreement is healthy part of every successful relationship. Any relationship without disagreement will have a short life span.
When the disagreement does surface, it now depends on how you can handle it in other not to escalate into an overheating argument, which is detrimental to a thriving relationship.
Many times in your relationship, you will have to disagree on something and then agree on a particular point of view where you and your partner will find comfortable enough to forge ahead in your relationship.
There are tell-tale signs that show that a particular disagreement or argument is going beyond control and it can cause harm to your relationship if you don’t know how to back off from such argument.
I will briefly mention some of these signs to look for, which will serve as warning signal, that your argument has reached the level at which anything further than that level, will put your relationship under pressure that might harm your romantic relationship.
1. Blaming rather than resolving
Whenever you start to blame your partner and sound alarmingly self-righteous, your ability to listen or ready to share responsibilities will be blocked. Nothing will be important to you except putting the blame on your partner’s shoulder. This period is when you’ll begin to say something like; “you never and you always”.
The way out here is; whenever you notice you’re accusing or criticising your partner, putting blames upon blame on him or her in the course of the argument, it is strongly advisable to stop the blaming, think about what is needed to be done rather than trying to make yourself righteous. When you do this, it will change the direction of how you think at that moment, and the tone of the conversation will be subdued.
2. Your voice tone becomes intensifying
Whenever you notice you’re escalating your tone in an argument, your temperature is becoming high than usual, then, you voice has become intensified and nothing can pacify you except you win the argument at this point, this is because your emotions has taken over and you’ll begin to make exaggerated claims that aren’t true and making all sort of statement that you’ll regret ever saying such words to your partner thereafter.
The way out here is; when you find yourself getting to this level where your voice is escalating, it is better you put a stop to it, give yourself a brake or tell your partner you need to visit the bathroom, go take some air and drink some water, this will help you to calm down the tension in you and enable you to regain your balance.
3. Dominating the conversation
Whenever you found yourself trying to dominate the conversation, not giving the other person the chance to express how he or she feels in the course of your disagreement. When you begin to notice you find it difficult to pause during the argument, your power of listening get deteriorated and you want your partner to just agree to all your terms without given space for the opinion of your partner. At this point, you should know that you’re already hurting your relationship.
The way out here is; when you find yourself dominating the conversation in this way, it is always good to slow down your conversation consciously and let the other person has his or her ground well enough without interruption from you. This will help you to listen to what your partner want you to understand. It is the understanding that matter most and it is when you give your partner chance without dominating the conversation, that’s when you’ll be able to resolve the argument on time. [Also read; Bad Habits That Will Hurt Your Relationship]
During a study in 1983, Dr Bob Levenson and Dr John Gottman who are experts on relationship analysis and the characteristics of marital stability, discovered that, in 96% of cases when people in a relationship involves themselves in an argument, the first 3 minutes of that conflicting conversation will determine how far the duration of that argument will go.
As I said at the beginning of this article, that it is good for couple to argue because it is healthy in any relationship for better understanding but when the argument is getting out of control, it becomes destructive and harmful to their relationship.
So, whenever you see any of the signs above, your best bet is to choose the option of the way out as highlighted above.