How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You – Using Psychology
Love has been described through the years as an uncontrollable emotion, fuelled by “fate” or “destiny”. That’s why people assume that if the person they’re attracted to doesn’t feel the same attraction towards them, it’s a lost cause.
But I’m here to tell you that the idea of “fate” or “destiny” being the only forces capable of controlling love is completely FALSE. Love, much like any other psychological emotion, can be controlled.
First of all, we have to learn to accept the idea that love is not at all that different from the other emotions we feel. Just like:
…we CAN take control of love. That is, as long as we understand how the mind falls in love.
The Psychology Behind Falling in Love
In each person’s subconscious is a list of characteristics they desire in a partner. This is called a “Lovemap.” Just as no two people are alike, no two Lovemaps will ever be exactly the same. This is because as we age and experience new things, our subconscious minds create criteria that they believe are essential in choosing a potential partner. Everything from:
- Your upbringing
- Your beliefs
- Your past experiences
…all contribute to how your Lovemap came to be.
If a person doesn’t meet most of (if not all) the criteria on your list, then there’s a good chance your subconscious would remove them as a potential partner. This is why when we meet someone who we think would make a great boyfriend/girlfriend, there’s no guarantee that we’ll see them as anything more than just a friend. At the same time, when we do find ourselves falling in love… we might not be able to pinpoint the exact reasons why. This is because our Lovemaps are housed in an area of our mind that isn’t readily accessible to our consciousness… so we might not know exactly what our Lovemaps contain.
Using the Lovemap to Make Someone Fall In Love With You
Most people believe that the idea of making someone fall in love with you is taboo. This is mostly because cultural influences have caused us to think that attempting to control love means altering “destiny” or “fate”. Remember that “fate” and “destiny” are simply myths advocated by romantic movies and music.
Using the Lovemap to change the way someone feels about you can be as easy as A, B, C:
- Associate Yourself in a Positive Way – What do people think when they hear your name? Do people see you as someone who’s “funny”, “smart”, or “boring”? If the person you’re attracted to associates a positive word with your image, then the odds of getting them to fall in love with you become higher. But if they see you in a bad light, then you might have to change the way they think. If you’re seen as someone who is “shy”, then it would be a good idea to try to be more outgoing at your next social gathering.
- Be Sure to Match Criteria – It’s important that we meet the criteria in a person’s Lovemap as this is how they will decide whether or not you are someone they can fall in love with. Remember that it’s okay not to meet ALL of the criteria (as long as you fulfil at least a few.) Not fulfilling any at all could erase your chances of making them fall in love all together. Learn more about the person and find out what you think their Lovemap might contain (based on their experiences and upbringing.) When you discover qualities you think they might be looking for, like:
- Being religious
- Being family centered
- Being dedicated to your work
…then you can begin fulfilling the items on their list.
- Cater to an Unmet Need – In looking for a potential partner, people unconsciously search for someone who is both like them and unlike them. Oftentimes, we have one positive quality that we think is our best characteristic. At the same time, there’s a quality we lack which we think we should have. It’s these two qualities that our subconscious looks for in a partner. Someone who is intelligent and shy would look for a partner that’s both intelligent and outgoing. Having the quality another person needs gives you a better chance of making them fall in love with you. Try to discover their insecurities and try to fill in that missing piece.
Relationships are all about compromise, and although you might need to make a few changes to fit a person’s Lovemap, you will realize that these changes are a small price to pay once you create a strong and lasting relationship with the person you’ve found.
About The Author: John Alex Clark
John Alex Clark is a Relationship Coach & NLP Practitioner from Dublin Ireland. He is also an entrepreneur, a motivational speaker, and an author.
His background in relationship coaching, neuro-linguistic-programming, science, psychology and perhaps most importantly – innovation …have created a unique skill-set which he has concentrated mainly in the field of love psychology. He is recognized as the worlds leading expert in the field of Lovemaps (the field of study into how to make someone fall in love with you).
He is the founder of the relationship advice website www.RelationshipPsychology.com and is the author of the two best-selling relationship programs:
THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology &
THE ERASE CODE: How To Get Over Anyone In Less Than A Week Using Psychology
His book THE LOVEMAP CODE is the first book to be released on the topic of Lovemaps since Dr. John Moneys (the man who coined the term Lovemap) death in 2006 and marks a major step forward in our understanding of this field.