How to Let Go Of a Toxic Relationship – 4 Tips Will Save Your Life
Not long ago, I was someone who was easily trampled on and treated poorly. I couldn’t let go of friendships. I had an irrational fear of loneliness.
My friends would peer pressure me into going out and then I would feel horrible and hate myself the next few days. Then one day, I learned that a friend had died in a drunk-driving accident.
I didn’t drink much but this seemed like a wake-up call. I could see it was time to make changes in my life.
Some friends I only saw to avoid loneliness, with others it was clearly a one way relationship.
I was tired of holding on to a woman who didn’t love me back and to friends who didn’t support me. I needed to learn how to let go of a toxic relationship.
It was time to stop sacrificing myself and my happiness to please other people. Doing things out of love was one thing, but doing things simply because I needed some kind of validation was unacceptable.
Deep down I knew that by doing these things and respecting myself it would lead to better relationships.
People know when you have self-respect and tend to respect you more for doing so.
Letting go can be hard and simple things can bring us back to the good times. Memories, phone calls or thoughts can make us question what we are doing.
Most of us like the path of least resistance, however we know something better is out there waiting for us.
We need to get past the conflict and simply work through it. If you have considered letting someone go, it is important to answer these questions:
- How do you feel around them?
- Do they bring you down, or lift you up?
- Do they always keep your best interests in mind?
- When you share your feelings do they put you down?
- Do they break their promises?
If the last two questions were a yes, you may want to think about moving on.
If you are unsure about letting go, remember that you are doing them a favor.
You are allowing them to make room for someone in their life that is more suited for them.
When the pain of sticking around is more than the pain of moving on its time you learned how to let go of a toxic relationship.
Here are a few steps you can practice in your daily life to help you let go:
1. Express your state of mind in writing.
Focus on one toxic relationship that you want to let go of and put your feelings in writing to that person. This can be as long or short as you want.
End the letter with “I release you across all time and space, thank you for helping me grow.”
After you have done this, take the letter, fold it up and burn it.
You can then bury it somewhere in the yard to complete the ritual. Instantly, when this is done I begin to feel much better.
2. Clear out your physical space
Get rid of anything that might remind you of the person you are trying to let go. Clean your house reminding yourself how important clean and fresh surroundings are to your mental health and wellbeing.
Throw out or give away any items you received from this person. Resist the urges to keep anything that might suck you back in.
3. Do a searching inventory on your needs
How do you want to feel in future relationships and with life in general?
I want my life and my relationships to feel:
If you don’t know where to begin, think about the immediate future. How would you like to feel this week, next week or the following month?
4. Begin to fill the empty space
Now that the space has been created by learning how to let go of a toxic relationship, it’s time to come up with activities to fill the gap.
Find your passion and dedicate some time to this activity on a daily basis. For me, writing makes me feel good so I set aside some time for it each day.
When you dedicate time to do things which is important to you, better people will come into your life. Someone who can appreciate you for YOU, not who you are trying to be for THEM.
When letting go of someone they will probably try to reach out more than usual. They can sense that they’re being let go.
You need to be strong. Have a talk with them and be honest about why you are moving on.
It may seem a bit overwhelming, but remember why you are moving on.
Letting go hard is hard but it is all part of the process. It will be easier to keep to your decision if you keep focused on the end result.
I wish you the best in letting go of your past.
Alex J. Stevenson is the founder of The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days – the ultimate source to get over anyone in a few days. If you are struggling to get over someone, signup for his FREE report on his website.