When the late songstress Aaliyah sang ‘Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number‘ quite a few people knew she was not just stating the obvious, but was trying to explain why dating the vastly older R Kelly wasn’t such a bad thing. ‘Age is nothing but a number‘ is the usual mantra of older women, aka cougars, justifying their affair with men young enough to be their sons.
Older women having a relationship with young men has being a part of us for a long time. But these days the concept is getting more traction, to the point the word cougar is now used as a derogatory term to describe them. But is it such a bad idea? Like Aaliyah said, age is actually just a number.
I’ve had no direct experience with dating older women. Not that I wasn’t approached, matter of fact I was approached on two different occasions. I ran (both literary and figuratively) like a bat trying to escape the suddenly bright cranny it was hiding in. The idea just didn’t seem right to my young innocent mind then. Now, I won’t mind having a go at that Bianca Ojukwu lady. Remember, She was once the most beautiful girl in Nigeria.
I have forgiven her for crushing my heart when she married a man old enough to be her dad.
My good friend in university got involved with an older woman. What he did was seriously unprecedented to me at that time. And when he showed me her picture, I was like, ‘Gosh, how could a young handsome guy like Peace sleep with that?’ she actually looked like a mother and the thought of my friend sleeping with her felt totally gross.
His reasons were rather simple though. He needed the money to pay his way through school. And to be honest, from the moment Peace hooked up with her, he was the best dressed dude in our clique and didn’t have to worry about getting money to feed or date those hungry University girls. Basically, he was getting the best of both world’s as far as women were concerned.
He is now a very rich young man working with an oil company. I bet he’d never give testimony in church about how he got the certificate that landed him that lucrative job. The things men do just to get ahead in life.
I can imagine somebody, somewhere getting really hot under the collar reading this now. If you thought I was going to bash older women dating young men, think again. And you better join the ‘think again‘ team if you think I am now an advocate for cougars.
Relationships, at the best of times are very complicated. My position in frankly puzzling issues like relationships is to try and understand what motivates people. I think it’s better that way than to sit in judgement and learn nothing.
Since I was close to Peace and quite recently a friend who had an affair with a rich older women, I now understand a few things from the point if view of my guys. How the older women feel is something I don’t really know. Hey, I am not a woman neither am I dating an older lady.
Here are my thoughts.
Older Women are more Understanding
That should be obvious right? Take the case of Andrew, his lady is always on about making him a better person. Not just with words, but with concrete actions too. She treats him the way you would expect your mother to treat you. And of course, money is never an issue to solve problems.
I have to say, the guy is having the time of his life.
Cougars are Matured
It’s not just about about relative to younger girls….. OK scratch that, I think everything is about comparisons with younger girls. From all my interaction with my friends involved with ladies older that them, one distinct feeling I get is the fact that these guys are very relaxed. They don’t seem to be under any sort of pressure to take any responsibility in the relationship.
Think of all the times you felt like tearing your hair out because your girl is frustrating the mojo out of you with with one silly problem or the other. You don’t get any of that with cougars. Issues in a relationship with an older women are really things that are worth applying your wisdom to solving.
With an older women, you know all childish or immature issues are thrown out of the window.
They are Alpha Females
I guess breaking a societal norm to date a younger boy imposes that ‘take charge‘ attitude in cougars. When you date an older women, chances that you’ll be spoilt silly are very high. You know how sometimes we go through a lot a stress organizing a date with our girlfriends? Well, with rich cougars, they take charge.
If your ego doesn’t stand in the way, you’ll will really be doing nothing while everything runs smoothly like a brand new Ferrari.
There are also downsides to dating them. Well like everything in life, there must be problems. The biggest negative, in 95% of cases, is that older women frown seriously at using their money to feather the nest of your young girlfriend.
They are have very serious inferiority complex about young girls. And it could manifest in very extreme violence.
However, if you know how to compartmentalize very well, you can keep your cougar from ever finding out about your girlfriend. I’d leave you to tell me the other negatives in dating an older women. As usual, you can hit me in our Facebook page or Twitter handle. You are also welcome to drop a line or two in the comments section. Thank you.