The first time I came across the phrase comfortable silence in relationship was in the movie Pulp Fiction. It popped up in the back and forth between John Travolta’s and Uma Thurman’s character on their first and only date.
The date was a bit awkward for both of them as they didn’t have much to say to each other. To get the conversation flowing, Thurman asked Travolta why couples always feel the need to talk to feel comfortable.
Travolta’s answer was priceless. To paraphrase him, he said something along the lines of not knowing her long enough to enjoy comfortable silences with her.
Now, if you haven’t watched Pulp Fiction, I urge you to. It is one film you’d find on any movie aficionado’s top ten crime thriller list.
What Travolta said about comfortable silence in relationship struck a chord in me. Before then I never gave the idea a thought.
What is comfortable silence in relationship?
For most people, a sign of a good relationship is how much and how well they communicate with each other.
And you get to see pieces written about that issue especially when it comes to first dates. A good conversation or being able to engage in one is awesome.
But what happens if you run out of things to say? Do you start fidgeting looking for things to say no matter how inane and lame? Or do you just sit back, relax and enjoy the silence of just being with a partner you love being with?
This is where the issue of comfortable silence in relationship comes into play. It all boils down to this: you don’t feel bored with your partner even if you don’t have anything to say to each other.
Skeptical of the whole idea? Okay, read on to see why comfortable silence in relationship goes a long way in making your affair a success.
Comfortable silence in relationship is a sign of true love
If you have to do a little research on what true love is by asking people, the answer you get would be as varied as the number of people you ask.
One thing is for sure though, people’s definition of true love is strongly linked to their experiences. The things we do or don’t do is where these experiences come from.
For those in long term relationship, they would be quick to raise up their hands and admit that not talking with their partners always is normal.
As a matter of fact, they would admit that there are long stretches in the day where they have nothing to say to each other. And yet, nothing is wrong. That is just the way it is.
It is not as if one’s attention is taken up by a movie or work, it is just that in relationships, giving a partner space to be alone with their thoughts is one of the cornerstones of real love.
Ladies sometimes find that concept hard to understand. But it is a wise lady who understands that her man being quiet is not a reflection of dissatisfaction with her.
On the contrary, he loves having her around even if he has nothing to say.
A sign of true friendship
One common soundbite about relationships is that your best friend is most likely your partner. I am down with that a hundred per cent.
With my closest buddy, we can go hours not talking to each other. Both of us just lost in our thoughts while nursing a bottle of beer in a bar.
We don’t have anything to say to each other. But at the same time, we are content to be there. That is a sign of true friendship by a long shot.
So if you ever achieved that level of closeness with your girlfriend or boyfriend, be rest assured that they are your buddies for life. This is not just a relationship powered by that initial rush of adrenaline that lives us giddy and doing all sorts of silly things to please them.
This is the real deal. And you’d better hold on to that somebody with whom comfortable silence in relationship is not just a by word for something fancy.
You both have time to analyze your thoughts
Couples who can be in each other’s company for long without saying a word know how to sift the chaff from the real things in life
Fact is, because they don’t feel any pressure to prattle about this or that, they have time to think things through without any pressure. In other words, they talk when they feel it’s time to let their partner know what they’d being thinking of.
With people that know how to enjoy comfortable silence in relationship, anything serious is normally well thought out. Not something that just spills out on a whim when they feel the itch to talk.
To them, they are hardly in the position to regret the things they say to each other. While at the same time, they enjoy the silences that exist between them all the time
The bottom line of any relationship is about the pursuit of happiness. If your words tend to hurt people often, try practicing silence. Because in the final analysis, meaningful silence is way better than meaningless words.
If your partner has trouble understanding that, perhaps you can get them to read this piece. What have you got to lose?
Before sharing it with your partner though, why not tell us what you think about comfortable silence in relationship. Have you ever had to explain to your partner that your silence doesn’t mean something is wrong?