Top 4 Causes For Divorce And How to Avoid Them
Divorce is never a good experience for an individual and no one pray it in his or her marital life. But at times it comes as the only solution to the problem in the marriage for the individual to go separate ways most especially if they are incompatible. Are you currently worrying about your marital problem? Perhaps you’re so much concern about the way couple around you are getting divorce and it seems there is no way out of this that you can offer to help them save their marriage.
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There are some things to be aware of if your marriage is heading toward terrible path of divorce. Experts will tell you that there are four major indicators to know if your marriage could lead to divorce in the future. In many instances you can reverse the behaviour and path with a bit of attention and compassion. Those four areas is what you will get to know here in this post and the best possible ways to avoid them. So if you find that your marriage or feelings for your spouse fall into one of these areas below, it’s time to pay attention and do what you can to reverse it once and for all.
Top 4 Causes For Divorce and How to Avoid Them
1. Excessive Criticism in your marriage
When issues in your marriage are getting too confrontational and you begin criticizing instead of talking, things will begin to take wrong shape. Being supportive is great and offering advice is one thing, but that can quickly evolve into criticism. You may not even realize that you are doing it with each other, but well meaning advice can evolve into nagging or even noise.
What to do in this scenario is to try to take a step back and look into your ways of doing the talking with your spouse to know if you’re being critical with your spouse and then work to correct it. When you are at ease with your spouse, it will become easy for both of you to point out problematic area in your marriage and seek for ways to better the situation. If it looks as if the criticism is becoming excessively negative, unnecessary, or not taken well, then it’s time to put a stop to this behaviour. Replace with some positivity and focus instead on what you appreciate about each other for a wonderful twist that can help save your marriage!
2. When you are getting more defensive instead of working as one team
There is bound to be disagreement between couples, but some couples go after each other with force. Defensive and offensive could be good for a game but are not good for a marriage. You may not have thought of it that it will hurt your marriage but it quickly manifests into doing more damage to your marriage than you’ll ever thought of. You bring past mistakes or fights into current discussions and the arguments transform into something awful from there.
Of course there will always be disagreement between you and your spouse, it is better to disagree to agree on issues rather than being on the defensive at all times. You will need to put yourself in the shoe of your spouse and see how it feels. When you get defensive or hurtful with each other, that is when difficulties will begin to show face in your marriage matters.
What you need to do in this situation is to try not to introduce this mindset or way of living into your marriage and if it’s already existing in your marriage, all you need to do is to replace your being defensive or even offensive with respect, compromise, and some sort of support or understanding for one another. If you don’t want separation, it is better not to work against each other but rather work together for one another.
3. Feeling hatred towards one another rather than respect
When you think of what hatred is all about, you will realize that it’s a true combination of disgust and anger. You cannot continue to be in marriage full of contempt, disrespect and hatred and expect your marriage not to break up. Marriage can never be built on such foundation and expect it to work out, never.
There may have been one or two mistake you’ve made in your marriage in the past, and you wish how you could take time back and have them corrected. If both of you still harbour ill feelings about some of those past issues in your relationship, hatred will not be far away from your marriage. When you show this hatred towards each other, nothing meaningful will come out of it.
What you need to do here is to first of all find a way to respect each other, you may find it difficult to get over some issues but it is necessary for you to find a way around it on how those issues can be erased in your mind. If you don’t and you continue to show hatred towards each other, then you can practically assure that your marriage won’t work.
4. Improper use of silent treatment
Different fighting styles can wreak havoc on the best of marriages. If one of you needs time to cool down in a fight and the other doesn’t this can be perceived as the silent treatment and it simply doesn’t work. Not only that but using silence to avoid confrontation rather than address issues in a healthy and well intentioned manner can deteriorate the best marriage. You need to be careful about silence as it can act as a weapon, whether you mean for it to or not. If you have issues to discuss then do so in a healthy and calm manner. If you need a moment to calm down, then verbalize that the right way. When silence replaces conversation then the marriage is heading in a downward spiral and it’s time to stop it! [Read; Appreciation in marriage is cure for separation]
Marriage life is not always going to be a rosy life all the time, it will take the two of your to make it successful. If you can overcome these most common causes for divorce, then you can be one of the great success stories that people look to in a positive light!
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